So I am at a point in my life where I don’t see a future for me. I am still young so bear with me. This really is my last resort.
So backstory: this year comes around and I meet a girl we hit it off but that quickly becomes toxic I left the relationship and was graped by my ex. She left a whole other scars too that I won’t explain right now but it took a huge toll on my mental health and I ended up in rehab after trying to OD multiple times(haven’t od since). I feel the rehab really helped me connect with other people and made me see more to life.
The issue now is: I have been suffering from severe depression for about 2-3 years now it got better but in a weird way. SCHOOL!!! I can’t do it because after rehab I missed a lot of work and now I can’t keep up and I don’t want to. Every single time I enter school I just feel like shit but like proper I have also been dealing with bullying in this school.
I know I can’t catch up this year anymore and I don’t want to put in all this effort just to fail the year because Ik I will fail (I’m in grade 10 btw)
I am also in active addiction (weed) which Ik ik is a big issue. I don’t want to stop it while going to school since it’s super difficult.
My current plan: I want to take the rest of the year off and get a part time at a restaurant or something but mostly to get a break. Then next year I would start the grade again at a new school and I will also quit smoking during that time for good.
A bit of added info: I recon I am on the spectrum reasons being I have a really high IQ and the school system in general has never fit me at all also I don’t like being around people. I also have ADHD but like a lot.
My now question is: any advice
I am really struggling rn since idk what to do and I’m scared I will mess up my future but at the same time idgaf and I just want to get out of school before i deteriorate more..
P.S sorry if I forgot to say some stuff but I’m just writing this quick and what I can think of