u/HistoricalMix9783

Hi everyone. A saw my first death and I have accessed EFAP. It honestly wasn’t very helpful. I do have a therapist but she’s on vacation at the moment. Idk if I’m just too sensitive or maybe it’s because I’m new and I’ve never seen someone actively die before but this is really affecting me.

At work I’m able to “forget” about it as I’m too busy to even think about it but I still go into her room and some else is there but I still remember her there. As soon as I leave work I’m breaking down. It was just a day ago. I can’t get out her last few words out of my head and I can’t get her family members faces out of my head either. Idk, it’s really killing me inside that I couldn’t stay in the room with her as I had to attend to others and do so many other things as I had my trainer on MY ASSSS. Idk if she’s just seen this so many times that she just doesn’t gaf about someone dying. There was no debrief or anything. I was just berated and humiliated because I spent too long in the patients room when I have others to attend to.

Hi everyone, I’m not going to share alot of details because if I do…it’ll be very obvious who I am but I’m new in a role (and new to working in a hospital) and the disrespect is insane.

I just witnessed my first ever death and I couldn’t even process it or stay with the patient or do anything because my trainee was on my FUCKING ASS. I was the last person she saw and idk, it took every bone in my body not to just stay and cry omg. Idk how you guys do it because then I had to turn around and rush to complete everything else like I didn’t just witness someone die. everything I do is either criticized or they simply laugh at me. I’m fine with constructive criticism but if you’re going to laugh or yell at me when I make a mistake and just laugh or berate me then that’s ridiculous and unhelpful.

SO MANY corners and I refuse to do that idc if it’s a fast-paced environment. I’m not risking patient safety and my own safety because you’re in a fucking bad mood and I’m not up to your pace when you have 10+ yrs of experience and I have literally A DAMN DAYYYY. WTF? The expectation to have it all figured out and to understand all the abbreviations, understanding all of the paper work, all the changes and understand every single terminology and the differences between SO many DIFFERENT THINGS (i’m being rlly vague on purpose) and so much when I’m only given a few days to learn ALL of it and then I’m on my own.

I’m having to come in hrs early to learn all my units and pray to god someone doesn’t yell at me for being in the fucking unit when I’m just trying to learn. I asked a nurse a simple question and she literally talked to me as if I bothering her like I’m trying to assist your patient and in order to do…I need to talk to you whether you like it or not. She wasn’t even busy like she was just chit chatting with a coworker and me interrupting her just pissed her off and the on top of that l can’t even spend time with the patient and to assist them because I’m being berated. I’ve already gotten injured because of the improper training the expectation to now how to operate and handle all the equipment in a couple minutes.

Also, wtf is everyone so fucking harsh and unempathetic tf like I understand burn out, I understand all of it but the things I’ve seen and heard in just a few hrs is insane. Why are they expecting me to follow in their footsteps by skipping sanitization, and I’m having little to no empathy for the patients TFFF?! Like I understand that it’s a fast environment and we’re on a time crush but it literally takes 1 minute to listen to a patient and to assist them with most basic shit and when I do that I’m yelled at.