i’m sick of living like this, how did this happen?
i will admit but not proudly at all, i used to be a bully, i loved anything physical, hitting, getting hit, the adrenaline all of it. out of nowhere fear took over my mind, this is a very cowardly thing but im admitting everything on here and i became a better person, the place i used to bully people in was a fairly safe place, since then i moved to another country where people get cut stabbed run over for being a bully (no im not in the uk) since then fear completely took over my mind and im not just scared of that kind of violence i also became terrified of normal street fights even when i have to do something about it, i have been letting people step on me since i moved here and everytime i get away from a confrontation without doing anything i cant sleep for about three days after, just calling myself a coward over and over again in my head, im tired of living like this, what made me so scared? karma is definitely terrible but im tired of being scared like this even when im not in the wrong. is this a trauma response or?