u/HelpAcroissant

I'm on the verge of killing myself right now. I have a blade, I practiced yesterday.

I genuinely don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to exist or live, I just want to die. I Hate how I bottle things up, how I never reach out for help. My ex ruined communication for me, ruined how I viewed myself. Because of that relationship, the idea of close connections and being vulnerable is my worst nightmare.

Unfortunately It's not entirely his fault, my parents were adding on similar pressure which just triggered this response.

Now that I bottle things up, the suicidal ideation is 10x more intense. I don't want to do this anymore, i don't want to be alive anymore.

I hate life. I hate being alive. Someone please kill me.