desperate
Hey guys. I’ve been suffering with migraines on and off since I was around 13, and I’m 21 now. Growing up, doctors mostly told me it was hormones. Over the last few years, though, things have progressively gotten worse.
About 4 years ago I had MRI scans done, and they came back clear. I also saw a migraine specialist and tried one migraine medication, but it didn’t help. My family doctor hasn’t really been helpful either. I do currently have another appointment booked with a migraine specialist, but getting everything sorted out in Ontario, Canada can take a long time.
I’m struggling to figure out what kind of migraines I’m even having, whether I’m somehow causing them, if it could be autoimmune-related, or if it’s something else entirely. I’m just overwhelmed.
This past year has been the worst it has ever been. I get headaches almost every day, and migraines around 5 days a week. I’ve had to quit my job because of it. I’ve tried really hard to manage my health, but it’s difficult. I’m young, and I feel so behind in life because of this. It’s affected my relationships, friendships, family life, and I even dropped out of school after getting violently sick with a cold that seemed to trigger my migraines into becoming much worse.
I’ve also been to the hospital a few times.
I’m diagnosed with scoliosis, and I also deal with constant aches and pains, fatigue, depression, and anxiety. One of the biggest things I experience is a lot of ear pressure and sinus pain — almost like a sinus infection. In the past year, I went to a walk-in clinic twice and got antibiotics for it, but they did absolutely nothing.
My ears constantly feel full, and I have pressure and soreness around my shoulders, face, eyes, eyebrows, jaw, and teeth. I also have TMJ, so there’s a lot of pain there too. I get brain fog constantly. The best way I can describe it is that awful sore, feverish headache feeling you get on the first day of a cold except I never actually get a fever. I constantly feel like I’m about to get sick, but never fully do.
Sometimes my throat feels tense or sore to swallow, though not severely. Steam sometimes gives me relief, and weirdly enough, sneezing feels amazing. I’ll even make myself sneeze sometimes because it relieves pressure when things get especially bad.
I’ve become extremely tense in my face, and over the past year I feel like I’ve visibly aged, look dull, and lost muscle because I’m so exhausted and inactive all the time.
I relate so much to chronic illness posts, but I genuinely have no idea what’s wrong with me or how to manage it. I’m terrified it’s something simple that everyone including me is somehow missing.
Trying to “fix” myself has become overwhelming too. There’s so much information online about fascia, mouth posture, palate issues, inflammation, yoga, physio, diet, cortisol, hormones, gut health, histamine, allergies, etc., and I honestly don’t even know where to start anymore.
My mental health has gotten really bad from all of this. I genuinely need help, and nobody around me really understands what I’m going through. I feel immense guilt, like somehow this is my fault or I’m just lazy, even though I eat healthy, don’t drink or smoke, sleep early, take care of myself, and avoid triggers as much as possible.
I just need help, ideas, theories, or things I could look into. Any relief at all.
I feel so weak now, and it breaks my heart because I know who I am underneath all of this. I know I’m capable of so much more. I used to be such a smart, motivated little girl with so many goals and dreams. This has completely taken over my life. It’s made me withdrawn, and it’s hard feeling like people including my current relationship can’t really see who I am underneath the pain.
It’s ruined birthdays, school, work, relationships, and so many important moments in my life.
And even after all of that, I still struggle with imposter syndrome sometimes, wondering if I’m somehow making it all up just to be lazy even though this has genuinely destroyed my quality of life.
I just want to live my life.
I've honestly never really said anything on reddit before but i thought i'd try!