u/HeavensWish

>!With the Esther event story now coming to a close, I've wanted to pour just a little bit of time into looking back at this complex and somewhat misunderstood character. Who is Esther? Why did she do the things she did? What does her life look like going forward? I'll try and consider some of these topics. While I'd like to cover everything, I sadly don't have the time right now, so I'll just cover what I think is most important.!<

>!"Who is Esther?"!<

>!Esther can be seen as two parts of the same whole. Esther was previously commander of the 9th brigade of knights, yes, but after some big events, she became a simple maid at an inn.!<

>!"What did Esther do that has defined her character for most of the audience?"!<

>!Well, in episode 2, it's revealed that Esther abandoned her friends and squad of knights. Yes, she had a couple of circumstances that greatly help things, but instead of leaning into that, she treats her friends coldly for a long time during their reunion. !<

>! "Why did Esther do all of that? I get that she chose to leave to protect her friends, but why did she act so coldly to them later?" (TLDR at bottom)!<

>!This is probably the most important topic of discussion and is going to be very lengthy. A lot of people trapped Esther and tried to get her killed, but she refused to let her squad pay the same consequence, so she had them retreat while she held them off, properly expecting death. Despite being victorious against the surrounding enemies, she still plummeted from a cliff and it was nothing short of a miracle that she was found and saved by Nia. She then joined Nia's Inn as a maid and dedicated herself to helping the Inn and town. !<

>!Now, all of this is very noble. Esther sacrifices herself to save her comrades and thankfully doesn't die! And so it becomes a sort of whiplash when her friends find her again and she acts very coldly.!<

>!The reason behind understanding why Esther acts this way is to compare her old life and her new life. When she was in command of the knights, she was essentially hunted by so many who had ill will towards her. It was a tough role anyways, but certainly not made easier by her many enemies. Of course she had her friends to ease it, but that didn't fix things. When her enemies struck and endangered her and her entire brigade, she made the decision to sacrifice her life for her squad. Obviously she didn't end up dying, but let's take that sacrifice at face value anyways. !<

>!Esther has spent her entire life training the sword and trying to redeem her family and their sword style. This delighted her grandfather but hurt her father, Lyle, a lot, as he was unable to do what she had done. And then as an adult, she joins the knights and gets deemed leader of the 9th brigade (a group of troublemakers) because of her jealous enemies. Then after turning them into a fantastic group of knights, her enemies are yet again upset and try to get her and her entire squad killed in a big mission. !<

>!Up to this point where she sacrifices herself, her life has been devoted to fulfilling her grandfather's wishes and being a perfect knight. I'm sure she dreamed of parts of it, absolutely, but ultimately, she had still been put on this path by others from a young age and none of it had been as good to her as it should've been. Through this path, she's gotten hurt by others and gotten others hurt through no intention or fault of her own. Her father's resentment and jealousy, her enemies trying to kill her, and her and her team of knights nearly being killed themselves. How much of this life was actually hers to choose? And how much of it had been filled with pain and strife? In the end, she doesn't make any big decisions for herself, all the way up until what was supposed to be her death. A very noble, but very unhappy life with a tragic ending.!<

>!Now compare this to after she awakens, saved by Nia. For the first time, she feels free. She enjoys being a maid and nobody has any lofty expectations for her. She can decide what to do and she doesn't have to worry about the jealousy or threat of others in power. She is but a humble maid and she very much enjoys this. We can consider this decision to work as a maid for a little while, one of the first big decisions that she has made for herself. !<

>!During this period of time, Esther had considered going back home, but was scared to. Afterall, so much unhappiness and danger were most of what remained there. But Nia convinces her to face her fears and so Esther goes back. In even this brief absence, the 9th brigade had suffered and been punished for insubordination. Seeing this, Esther realized that as much good as she had tried to do all of her life, it had brought an equal amount of difficulty into the lives of herself and those she cared about. She then resigns as commander with the demand that the 9th brigade no longer face more punishment. With all of this, Esther has made so many decisions for the 9th brigade with the goal of protecting them. So why is she in such hot water now despite everything she did?!<

>!Well the reason is because even aside from her later actions....she never actually talked to her squad. Not once did she choose to meet with them after she was previously presumed dead. Now, I'm sure a big part of this was to protect them. Afterall, the last thing Esther wants to do is endanger them, and that's all she views her knighthood self as. A danger. !<

>!And while somewhat less obviously noble than the other actions she's done, these actions had good intentions. The biggest problems do come later, but there's one here I really want to highlight. Even if your intentions are good, and even if you have solid reasoning, making a decision on the behalf of others is a dangerous thing to do. Not only did she decide exactly what would happen (she would leave the knights and stop communicating with the 9th brigade completely) to protect them despite never asking what they wanted, they also didn't even know about her reasons for protecting them in the first place. Of course, Esther WAS protecting them from the very great harm looming over her, but she neglected them emotionally. She gave them no choice in the matter and left them frustrated, angry, and confused, thinking she just abandoned them.!<

>!And that's just where it begins. Esther goes back to the Inn and becomes a full time maid, rejoicing in her new life. Something very interesting that her character data points out is that "safeguarding her quiet life and the peace of the village had become her new dream". This is now her ultimate goal, and despite the latter half of that dream being a little more neutral (it benefits her and others), the first half is 100% a self-focused dream. Esther no longer wants the pain or the struggle or the expectation of being a knight. She did so much for so many people, but was never happy...and now she finally is. She wants to completely leave her past behind her and fully absorb into this new life. This is her new dream and what fuels most of her actions going forward.!<

>!And that's everything that happens before Episode 2 even STARTS. There is a lot of very interesting bonus context in her trailer, lore notes, and event, but I'm not going to get too into that. Highly recommend though.!<

>!Now onto Episode 2.!<

>!We've all likely played episode 2, and so I'm just going to briefly summarize this part. Flare and Reina meet up with Cloud and Verna before heading to the town Esther is in. This isn't the purpose of the trip, but Flare, Reina, and Esther end up meeting for the first time since Esther left. Flare is absolutely pissed and Reina is hurt too, despite understanding some of the reasoning. Despite this, Esther treats them very coldly and refuses them closure. She simply holds onto a very blunt and cold demeanor and tries her best to hurry them along so that they can leave the town. A lot of players have had trouble placing the past Esther and this present Esther together. Afterall, despite being the same person, they are completely different. And this is true. Esther before was "who she was supposed to be" and Esther now is more of who she really is and wants to be for the future. The reason she treats her friends so coldly is because she wants to continue running from her past. She wants to keep pretending that none of that stuff ever happened. She wants to go on living her peaceful life and not be dragged back into the old events. !<

>!Esther does a lot of assuming here. She assumes that her friends will try and drag her back. She assumes that they won't understand or make the same decision she did. She assumes that them coming into contact with her is too dangerous for both sides. And ultimately...she assumes what's best for them. And she's done a lot of that, even from back when she saved them. !<

>!And the thing is...a lot of these assumptions end up to not even be true. Her friends, not even flare, do NOT try to drag her back. They DO understand her decision and they ARE okay with the danger it brings for them to meet with her. They don't want their commander back, they simply want their FRIEND back. !<

>!--------------------------------------------------------!<

>!TLDR (ish):!<

>!In the end, Esther does end up opening up to them and realizing that she was wrong. She should've let her friends weigh in with decisions that so hugely affected them. They had a right to know, even if it might endanger them. And her friends ended up being so much more understanding than she ever could've thought. It all ends well with her accepting her friends and her friends forgiving her....!<

>!But if you DON'T forgive her, that's perfectly understandable. !<

>!I've been sort of thinking about it like this.!<

>!Some good things Esther has done to make note of:!<

>!-Spent her childhood and adulthood trying to bring honor and restore her family!<
>!-Became a knight and took on the pain and jealousy others thrust upon her without complaint!<
>!-Reformed and turned the 9th brigade into an amazing unit of friends!<
>!-Sacrificed her life in battle so that her squad could escape!<
>!-Went back to Manafall despite the danger to confront her fears and help her friends!<

>!Some neutral things Esther has done:!<

>!-worked as a maid for a short time after being saved (hard to say if this was for Nia or for herself atp)!<
>!-choosing to later spend her life living as a maid and enjoying her new dream!<

>!Some bad things Esther has done:!<

>!-didn't meet with her friends ONCE!<
>!-chose to resign and abandon her friends to protect them (good thing?) but did this with no input from her friends (quite a bad thing!)!<
>!-never told her friends about the true reasoning for her leaving!<
>!-Went off to completely focus on her new life, pretending like her past doesn't exist, leaving her friends with boiling emotions and no closure!<
>!-Acted coldly to her friends upon their reunion, trying to get rid of them!<
>!-Assumes a lot of bad things about her friends that both end up hurting them and don't even turn out to be true!<

>!-----Conclusion:--------!<

>!Personally, I forgive Esther. She was a terrible friend and acted selfishly when trying to protect her new life and there isn't any excuse for that....but that being said she did also dedicate so much of her life to others prior to this, even making the ultimate sacrifice at one point. She kinda deserves to make some mistakes and be selfish for once in her life. If her friends didn't forgive her, I'd understand, as that's a personal choice, but I do think the good she's done outweighs the bad by a good margin, even for her friends specifically. They loved having her in their lives and she did save their lives too. And despite her recent failings, she can make up for it over time by being a much better friend. !<

>!I don't think Esther is a bad person or a good person necessarily. I think in the past she was a very good person in an unbalanced way (only focused on others), and recently she's a very selfish person in an unbalanced way (only focuses on herself). After an entire life dedicated to others, she just doesn't know how to lead a balanced life and it's hard for me to completely fault her for that. Looking after yourself isn't selfish, but when you continue to do so despite hurting others, especially your friends, that's selfish and wrong. How Esther turns out and how I see her will depend a lot on how she chooses to continue on in the future. But I have faith that she can find balance and treat future situations with a proper mix of selfishness and selflessness.!<