I really don't know if I can do this.
It's only day 2, but I'm miserable.
I'm living with a friend that bought a house in Brighton recently. They're so gracious and I know they'd let me live here for free forever if I wanted. I only pay some amount to them per month because I insisted.
I came to find folks with more aligned worldviews and values. I have found them. But everything else is weighing so heavily on my heart and soul. I feel like I have a pound of concrete in my chest.
I'm going to keep pushing through because everyone tells me to and I don't want everyone to think I'm a coward, but I really just don't see a world where I'm going to get to the point where I don't feel this way anymore. I am so terribly miserable.
I can go back no problem. I sold my house, so I liquidated my biggest asset, and I have some money to play with. I have zero financial or logistical reasons I can't go back. My job let me go remote back home. I can just say I'll be in the office again. Houses are relatively still cheap where I'm from.
I just am hurting deeply, and no one seems to be able to empathize with me. All the wanderluster friends I have make me think people experience relocation depression differently, and they're only seeing it from their perspective, but they aren't hearing me when I talk about my experience.
I'm going to the Braves game on Saturday, and I'm going on a lunch/walk date on Sunday with a girl from Hinge that's a relocator (six states total with a start point in NJ), and she's been so kind with all my Eeyore-ass feelings.
Can anyone please help? I don't really know what I'm looking for. Thoughts. Encouragement. Permission from strangers on the internet to say "I can do whatever the hell I want" maybe. I don't know.
Thank you all so much regardless.