So me (F23) matched with a guy (M27) on Bumble. We started texting and calling like crazy then eventually met. We were in the same city but we would usually meet once or twice a month. We would hangout and it used to be really good. Soon we became Fwbs.
He is a Muslim and I'm a Christian we know that there's absolutely no chance of this ever making it. He has said stuffs like He would have dated me seriously if I was a Muslim. and also if he ever finds the one he would completely leave everything.
So even though we were strongly emotionally connected and we vibed like crazy. He used to date other people as well.. And me being the "cool friend" would listen to it. I'd get a bit hurt pakshe sarulya. So to be equals I tried dating others too but none of it helped. I never got to vibe with anyone as much as I did with him so I completely stopped that.
Even before we met when he used to talk about his other date it kinda stung me so I did once tell him about it and that I liked him with the help of kurach alcohol. Apol he was like after some time if the feeling is still the same apol nokaam. We never really talked about it after that.
Well now here is the main thing. We did the deed (it was our first time for the both of us) and it was really intimate and nice. Unfiltered at its best. It was fun idak tough but we laughed through it. I didnt regret it much then but as few days passed I've become more attached? I mean I keep these emotional expectations where he doesn't meet it. He is just like before but I've started to become more needy?
I really wanted to have my first time with someone I really really liked and was comfortable with. But idk where to put all these emotions I'm going through. I'll be leaving this city soon and I'm being a lot emotional about all of it ig.
Idk whether he is pretending or purposefully trying to tone down a bit so I won't get attached? Casually date cheyuahnenkilum first time doesn't mean nothing much for guys? Is it just like an accomplishment or something. I feel less valued and it's emotionally ruining my peace.