I was told my body is disguising
I was talking to one of my closest friends and i mentioned that I had gained some weight and her reply was that she was glad and that she thought I was disgusting before. This happened a few months ago but I can’t stop thinking about it. I’ve struggled with body image since I was 10(i’m 17 now) and she knows this she even knows I struggled with a restrictive ED. I opened up to her a little about my body image and she comforted me and told me I look fine, that was before I gained It’s been stuck in my mind because i’m realising she must have lied to me before when she was comforting me. I always thought my body was disgusting but I’ve never had any proof so part of me thought it was just so scared of my weight dropping again or even fluctuating i’m become more obsessive with my body (weighing myself twice a day everyday, measuring my body any time i can, body checking)
I just want this all to stop idk why I was cursed to be like this. I haven’t told anyone about this because I feel so embarrassed because what if they’re all thinking the same
Edit: I meant to say disgusting not disguising