Just been depressed for the last little bit. I’m incredibly exhausted and just sent my first first author paper to a publisher today. It’s cool work but my group is kind of lukewarm on it. That’s bumming me out. Maybe I just am fluctuating between being proud of it and feeling like it’s garbage. I didn’t feel anything after submission except empty and it’s all I’ve been working on for months.
I had a pretty physically traumatic year so far and the depression is just getting to me this week.
I’m exercising, trying to get more sleep, hanging out with people and cuddling my dog but I just don’t feel rested or satisfied.
It just feels like the environment around me is constantly hostile for no reason. So many of my colleagues are so nasty to each other for no fucking reason and the ones I got along with left or had their funding unceremoniously cut. It doesn’t feel like a normal place to work.
What do I do? I need to bounce back for work but I just don’t feel like I have the energy to do it. What can be done? Is this normal?