For context I’m a phisically disabled queer girl who is unmedicated for ADHD (yeah pick a struggle). Making friends has never been easy for me so I kind of expected it might be like this during Erasmus, but seeing everyone else get along so easily has been really hard.
A friend of mine applied to the same university as me, but instead of her, another guy I had never spoken to ended up coming. He’s kind, but people have said he only talks to other guys so I should be the one reaching out. At first I didn’t think that was true, since he was open to talk to me and would invite me for coffee after class, but then something strange happened.
He and another guy started braindumping about a crazy destination for trip with me, and he even asked if I wanted to go. After a few weeks, he mentioned (without me asking) he had the dates planned and subtly made clear I wouldn't be included. I don’t know if there was something I did (I'm really afraid they took it as a self invite) or if it’s just that he prefers spending time with guys, but it made me feel really sad regardless.
I have made some connections (love them, they are so sweet) and I do get invited out at night but I'm not being included in things like trips. They live close to eachother and hangout more. Also I'm a little awkward and accidentaly distant, when in larger groups is dificult for me to keep up with conversations because I get a little overwelmed.
Keep thinking maybe I should have tried more to socialize with the guy who came with me beforehand, or maybe things would have been different if I had lived with roommates but the true is that the opportunity already passed.
It's been two months I feel that I made so many mistakes and I am so lonely, can't wait to go home and forget about this :(
Do any of you have any advice for making friends at this stage or went through something similar and want to share?