u/HeGotBricks

4Pov Sample

how’s this working I’m going to do two rounds of 4POV

I don’t hide. Nope. Nevah have. I dawdle the darkest corners, where nightmares only fade when you sleep. Type of place full of sharks and you bring yo’ lifejacket ‘cause all you worry ‘bout - drownin’. 

Low hangin’ fruit, just ripe fo’ the pickin’. Thass’ how I see it, Benny pass me a light brotha’

“Hold up Paszer, it’s somewhurr’ hurr.” Man. this dude. Over hurr’, loss his dayum mind. He out hurr’ in da same raggedy ass clothes from lass’ week. Dayum lint. Whurr’ da hell this lighter at. “Who dat down thurr’ dat John-boy?” Paszer shrugging, holdin’ dat cig’rette like God goin’ light it. I’m purr’ surr’ thurr’ Bo, “John—John-boy” I sent a holla’ thurr’, he’s hollerin’ sumpin’, “I can’t hear em’, you-herrim’ Pasz?” Paszer shakes his head. I throw a hand-wave gesture up to follow my direction.

“John-Bo, he can’t hear you, let’s go see what these guys want.”

We press further in and I swear I can see Paszer. I notice my buddy, John, “Bo” pause in his step, as my heart takes it for him. Paszer’s the only person I know whose eyes chill the sticky, South Carolina heat, ice cold. I shiver the chill off, reach for my phone and tell Bo I’ll be back.

“Dude. What? Wow.”  Casey is always doing this to me, every time. awe, hell, I see Paszer standing next to Benny—damnit. You think they would throw him in a hole and leave him there. An assaulting odor of shit and piss, or probably is just dirty laundry, mixed in poor hygiene, strong enough to linger in my lungs from ten feet away.  

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u/HeGotBricks — 24 hours ago

Ways to manipulate the reader

I don’t know if I invented this technique or not but I wanted to find a way to force the reader to do what I wanted. this is a technique I’m not sure what they would call it but yeah lemme know what you think

No Title

Margo, Marge and Marcy stood in a line preparing to sing. Margo reached to hold Marge’s hand and started a long, “hmm.” Marge latched on and joined humming a “huh” as Marcy opened it up.

“OH HAPPY DAY”

“Oh happy—“  ———-“Day.”

“WHEN JESUS WASHED”

“When Jesus—“ ———“Washed”

“HE WASHED MY SINS AWAY”

“Oh happy—“ ————-“Day—“

“Stop. Something’s off.”  Marcy scowled. 

“I thought it was perfect.”  Marge spoke with her spine straight. 

“What did you think about it Margo.” Asked Marcy. 

“I felt further away from you then Marge.”

“The song, Margo”  sighed Marcy. 

“Huh.” Margo mindlessly asserted with a stuck face, unlocking to Marge explaining the question. “Did you hear anything funny.” 

Margo laughed and recalled a memory. “Yeah what was it again?” She scratched her head. “Oh, got it, okay. God walks into a bar and orders three shots of holy water—“

“Bless your heart, sweetie.” Marcy interrupted, smiling as Marge began laughing. Marcy shook her head and said,

“Let’s take it from the top.” 

reddit.com
u/HeGotBricks — 1 day ago