Ive been very depressed lately and isolated. One of the reasons i never tried dating is because i dont feel good enough despite some positive things my friends told me i have (like having my own apartment, washing my clothes, cooking and cleaning) i dont feel special for that because thats what a functional adult does.
Ive had also insecurties with my physical appearance, specially my nose, cant afford a surgery at the moment so im stuck with it until i get a job with more income. Every time i go to public places like the gym or anywhere else and i see i beautiful women, I tend to look somewhere else because i dont want to make them feel uncomfortable. It already happened a lot of times where some women were hostile towards me while im in my own business, ive been called ugly things that I wont forget for the rest of my life.
Ive never been entitled for women not liking me like "all women are evil" or "women don't like nice guys like me" I dont consider myself nice guy, I've done some things that I don't want to talk about. But I can say that I dont like to make women feel uncomfortable. If anything I blame myself and my genes.