u/Hawaiikilauea7

Hi everyone,
I’m a 20-year-old male Christian from the UK and I’ve been trying to understand how to approach dating in a way that aligns with my faith, my values, and my emotions.

I want a Christ-centred marriage. My faith in Christ is important to me, and I’m looking for someone who believes in Jesus and wants to build a loving, committed marriage based on Christian values.
Because of my convictions, I’ve chosen to wait until marriage for sex. Because of that, I want a partner who shares the same conviction and has also saved sex for marriage.

I’m struggling with feeling extremely uncomfortable with the idea of dating someone who has had previous sexual partners and I also struggle with comparison and self-confidence in relationships.

I worry because I find it incredibly difficult to fully process or feel at peace with a partner or possible partner’s past and experience anxious or unwanted thoughts about said past that are impossible to manage.

I feel unsure whether my expectations are realistic at my age.

I’ve never had a girlfriend or experienced any of my “firsts” yet, and I feel quite inexperienced finding myself scared of being hurt in relationships and emotionally overwhelmed by the idea of getting attached and possibly experiencing heartbreak.

I also recently had a recent experience where a girl showed interest in me and asked me out. We got along quite well and were planning to go on a date, but after I learned she had two previous boyfriends, I became extremely anxious, depressed, and upset. After feeling unwell for a couple of days, I decided to change my mind and not pursue it further.

I feel very stuck because as I’ve been told by my non religious friends that I am being ridiculous and at age 20, it is unrealistic to find a Christian girl who:

1. shares my values about waiting until marriage
2. is also a virgin

I’m also unsure about how dating actually works in practice as a Christian in today’s world.
I have reservations being brought up in the Church of England as it has very much come away from traditional views. Also in my church it is almost exclusively older people, and there aren’t many people my age. Because of that, I have felt out of place and I’ve wondered whether it would make more sense to look internationally, since the U.S. seems to have a larger Christian youth population.

So I’m also wondering:
Is it actually realistic or wise to try to pursue dating in the U.S. as a UK Christian in my situation?

If you’ve read this far thank you for your time and I’d appreciate any advice people could give as this has really got me quite depressed and anxious.