After two months of tech sobriety I have relapsed into a new kind of compulsive tech use (mostly ranting but advice is also welcome)
I (26F) started my digital minimalism journey around the new year. I had a good two months where I was mostly sober from tech (I know the word sober is a bit divisive but it’s how I view the opposite of my compulsive social media use so it works for me).
Over the past six weeks I have not redownloaded any social media apps and I still use my Jellystar 3-inch phone.
However, I’ve regressed to reading a lot of fanfiction (on my old iPhone, not my small phone) and daydreaming about fictional scenarios, sometimes for hours and hours. It’s really mimicing my compulsive social media use from months ago. The fics and daydreams are romantic and/or sexual by nature. Yesterday I attended an online ITAA meeting (after skipping them for a few weeks) and someone shared a really insightful thought. They said that upon reflection, many of their relapses have stemmed from a certain unfulfilled and real need/desire.
I feel like this applies to me. For example, I have absolutely no desire anymore to use instagram (haven’t thought about it in 6 months honestly) which a year ago would’ve been an unthinkable feat. But right now, my needs are entirely different. I feel lonely and everyone around me is getting into relationships and having the time of their lives. I can’t do that mostly due to me being religions (practicing and abstinent). This unfulfilled need for attraction and romantic attention along with the neural networks that make compulsive media use a path easy and comforting are the driving force behind my current relapse. Also I’ve been under a lot of anxiety lately in school which pushes me towards procrastination and to lose myself in fictional scenarios.
I’ve just come to this insight but I mostly feel stuck and paralysed. Does this sound familiar to anyone?