Back when I was a financial advisor, I met a girl through a client family I worked with. She was the most genuinely cheerful person I'd ever come across — not the kind of cheerful that's performed, just naturally bright.
We were never officially together. Just that ambiguous in-between zone where everything feels unspoken but you both know something is there.
One night I jokingly said I was craving expensive crab delivery — the kind that costs a stupid amount of money. She ordered it without a second thought.
I used to play World of Warcraft. She was a Gen Z girl who'd never touched a PC game in her life. She registered an account and paid for a monthly subscription just to play alongside me. I remember feeling annoyed by it at the time. I don't know why. Maybe I didn't want to feel responsible for someone caring that much.
Then I got promoted. I assigned someone else to handle her family's account. And just like that, I let the distance grow. I told myself she didn't matter that much. I treated her like she was optional.
By the time I finally sat with myself long enough to realize she was probably the best person who had ever shown up for me — it was too late. She had blocked me everywhere. I don't blame her.
For three consecutive winters after that, I bought her a scarf. She never received any of them. It was just something I did for myself, I think. A small punishment. A small apology to no one.
I hope she's doing well. She deserved someone who recognized what they had while they still had it.
I was not that person. But I think about it every winter.