Help me open my door to guests. 😞
I want to get my house looking better, but the mental and physical obstacles are stopping me. I’d love some words of wisdom.
I’m a single mom (47f) of two young teens who want to bring friends and new dating partners to our house.
I’ve never been able to open my home to friends because growing up we had a house fire that wrecked the entire inside of our house with smoke damage, so it was mostly gutted. My father decided to repair it himself but he spent the money on a ski boat instead. I wasn’t allowed to have people over and my dad would snap at me to meet friends at the street so they wouldn’t come up to our door. Also my dad was physically and emotionally abusive to all of us, so that didn’t help.
I’ve always had anxiety about having people in my space but try so hard to let close friends in (I panic clean before they arrive.)
I have adhd, anxiety, depression, and a herniated disc/arthritis.
My house is 134 years old, furnished almost completely in mismatched secondhand items. I was a SAHM supporting my husband’s career and multiple moves prior to divorce, and now I’m trying to find work, rebuild my life, and stand on my own.
I’m embarrassed that I don’t make good money or have a solid career at my age. I can’t afford much to make their lives better right now. Not sure I ever will.
I want to be able to tell my kids YES bring your friends over!
But I don’t have money to repair or remodel, and many things around here are old, broken, outdated, or just look shabby. Also, I spend a lot of time tidying because the layout is quirky/inefficient and there’s almost no storage.
My clutter threshold is low. I can’t handle much right now, and it feels like the place is a mess to me.
It’s also fairly dirty, and old baseboards, walls that desperately need paint, ancient flooring and lower end/older/mismatched furniture doesn’t help.
I KNOW I shouldn’t care what some teens think, but my son’s girlfriend has two married wealthy parents and lives in a very nice house. They have money and ease I just don’t have, and I’m embarrassed to have her over here.
I know I should just start cleaning, but feel so stuck.
Also we have two black cats, one of which seems to strategically leave gooey projectile hairballs around just to demolish my self esteem. 😑
I just wish it was clean in here, but I’m tired, sad, and can’t afford a cleaner.
Help? 🖤