I hate dating someone with Autism, BPD, CPTSD, and OCD
I am losing my mind. I hate my autistic, borderline, cptsd and ocd gf. I can’t stand all of the amenities, and having so many rules, and expectations. I hate her trauma from her parents, abusive exes, and ex friends. I hate how specific I have to be with my vocabulary, or I’ll be told that I shouldn’t be using words that I don’t truly understand. I hate the way she has to re explain her life story, I hate hearing her voice her opinions on every micro decision I make. I hate her always having to teach me a lesson, or have there be consequences for a mistake. I may avoid confrontation at times, but she down right expects it on a weekly basis. I hate the way that she has to course correct me. We’ve been together nearly 3 years, but don’t trust me to do anything without her. Or trust that I can take care of myself. She doesn’t trust me to be the father of her kids. She tells me adnauseum how my relationships are shallow, and that I don’t know as much about my own family and life as she does. I feel powerless at times, I feel like I don’t know how to not make her upset with me. Or have her triggered by me, or not impacting her in a way that I didn’t even think of. I hate how I get told to be quiet or need to be given an example. We aren’t equals, I don’t know how to be her equal. Sometimes I want things to work because when they are good they are good, but fuck does it suck when it’s not. So many lectures, so many “ I don’t need to hear it”, so many “ I’m more empathetic than most of the people on this planet” I hate how cocky she is, how she’s a queen of all trades, and Is super approachable to strangers. Always talented at any kind of sport or knowledgeable on a range of topics. I hate how much she analyzes me, I hate how much “mental load” she’s exhausted by, I hate how she asks me for everything and anything under the sun, and yet if I ask for one thing, she will always be sure to remind me of the exact ask, and when it was, and how much she disliked it. Then complains about me not complaining about doing something for her that I don’t exactly like to do. I’m an asshole for not complaining, but I don’t want to complain. But she needs the complaints, she needs to know what’s wrong with her, but I don’t know how to address her or situations together ever. She complains that everyone leaves her eventually, I’m trying not to, but I can’t take this forever.