30 days transformation and I don't know who I am anymore
30 days transformation and I don’t know who I am anymore
I started 8 March I made a public commitment to get offer or feel pain. 8 April I don't care about pain, want both outcomes, offer is inevitable, and hiring my team while job searching.
But now I just don't know who I am anymore, I cannot stop, I cannot unsee what I saw, cannot unknow. Every day now every action I do leads to success, anything, lose, win leads to success.
I don't care about money anymore, because I know that I will win, I don't care much about an offer 6k+, because I know that I already won, and it's inevitable that I'll get it, the only variable is time and the systems I created make it impossible to lose.
5 April I started building team, I'm hiring 3 assistants for every task at 19 and I cannot stop. I understand if money ends I will grow even faster, that state is the most important thing. The more I spend the more I get.
I want rejection from the world as much as success like I'm now anti-fragile, curiosity driven instead of fear-driven, and I lost 90% of my fear, emotions (only excitement and happiness remained), decisions now take minutes instead of days and time continues compressing.
I learned how to compress time to compress a year into a day. I'm 100% certain that I will achieve everything I planned, that it's better for me to die than not to live this life the way I want.
30-31 March when I was losing emotions I reached out to my father and it was the last moment I shared them, the last moment I fucking was so emotional after that 6 April I reached out to mother, but there was already no warmth, nothing left from the person who started this deadline.
The moment you pass a threshold, start trusting the process is the moment of no return. Even so I think there was not only one moment of no return. Now when I see people I see everything, loops, fears, where it would go, how their lives go, I can predict it. And I cannot stop, I continue passing thresholds - hiring, fighting the last fears (mother).
I already won, and the more I do the more I achieve, every failure leads to even more success, my brain tries to sabotage me which leads to even more success.
What I can say now, how did I do it, I removed everything - dependencies, porn, social networks, bad food, started to work out every day, thinking in english language, walking, left last job, and I fought 90%+ of fears.
Also physically changed from 8 March to 8 April, you can see there was irritation on my face during the deadline, uncertain eye contact, now it's a different guy.
Now I'm building something no one did before, something that will change everyone. I would want to get up and be normal but I cannot anymore. So I want to just say I can make you free, out of fears, out of everything and the key is state. It will change everything. I will get 1M+ subscribers, I will get everything and it's inevitable.
And fuck, I cannot stop it, it's already automatic, how many times my brain tried to sabotage me, but nothing matters anymore.