u/Green_Exercise_1311

Just got a long text from a friend (35F) saying our friendship had become “transactional” and that they intentionally stopped inviting me (28F) to things because they felt I only reached out around our shared hobby (isn’t that part of friendship when we share hobbies?).

What’s frustrating is this feels incredibly one-sided. Our friendship has absolutely changed over the last couple years, but not solely because of me. There were plenty of times plans got canceled on me, cut short, or deprioritized for a new boyfriend (that she moved in with after 6mo of dating), and I spent a long time feeling like I was putting in effort just to get very little consistency back. Additional context is we live like three hours apart so often times this was me driving three hours to come hang out for our scheduled plans and her leaving early leaving me feeling incredibly disappointed with our friendship.

Last fall I was actively grieving the loss of both a cousin and my dog and still felt pressure to be the one driving 3 hours to maintain the friendship while getting very little emotional support in return.
So to now be told the friendship regressed significantly and it’s only my fault due to only being upheld by a hobby honestly just feels unfair and revisionist.

I agree things changed, but acting like it was entirely because I stopped showing up feels incredibly dismissive of the ways I felt let down too.

I communicated this to said friend over text (ideally it would’ve been in person but the conversation started via text and again we are three hours away) and all they could say was that they feel “neutral” about the friendship now, they feel that I haven’t made an effort and don’t know where we stand going forward, which honestly I don’t really care about at this point.

To me, it seems like the friendship is over and I need to move on especially when I know the effort I’m putting in.

Additional context: I am a recovering people pleaser hence the ask for advice here. I would describe this friend as… not a people pleaser.

Hi! 28 year old here with high cholesterol who is struggling with where to turn diet wise.

Have had PCOS for over a decade and know that normally, low carb/keto/high protein works best but I wouldn’t say I’m super strict on the keto diet currently, just have made general lifestyle shifts towards that in the last couple of years.

Now: my blood work came back and my Cholesterol is struggling again after some positive improvements (see below).

Current: total cholesterol: 227, hdl: 48, ldl: 161

May 2025: total cholesterol: 208, hdl: 43, ldl: 143

November 2024: total cholesterol: 225, hdl: 46, ldl: 167

Feb 2024: total cholesterol: 244, hdl: 40, ldl: 186

Any suggestions about where to prioritize diet wise? Do the following macros seem appropriate to help?

Protein: 90-100g Carbs: aim for under 200g of mostly fruits and vegetables and whole grains (includes fiber) Saturated Fat: 15-20g per day and Fiber: 35-45g per day

Current meds: 11.25mg Qsymia (phentermine/topiramate), 50mg spironolactone, seasonale birth control (so glps out of the question atm)

Overall I’m just struggling with all the different philosophies in regard to diets. Do I want good carbs or none? Good fats or no? (Currently I do eat avocados and nuts and such) I want to be mindful of both insulin resistance and my cholesterol going forward and am just confused so any insight on your diet if you’ve improved your cholesterol would be super appreciated.