Is it normal for me to still feel extreme guilt of wd life support on my husband in ICU?
He went in with pulm edema and they had to intubate and despite their attempts at saving his life he ended up having CKF even after dialysis and then of course the heart began to fail.
He failed the weaning trials and after 14 days the icu team was unable to wake him up.
They were not sure why but they thought it might have been brain damage bc the first day he did have seizures. Again from antibiotics? or sedation? or other?
It was offered to me to do a trake but i didnt think he would want that nor was onboard of shipping him to a ltc on top of it all so they said comfort care is what they recommended esp since he was not breathing on his own and would be decompensated after so many days laid up in bed assuming he would wake up. They said his brain stem was still alive.
We were married 34 yrs no children just he and i.
i cant help but feel like i jumped the gun. i should have waited and had a conf w the team but instead went by what they told me at rounds.
I am extremely depressed, devastated and grief stricken w the possibility that i might have not given the situation a chance. ive tried therapy drugs etc to cope but this idea i have is eating at me every day!
He walked in and left in a body bag. Complications relating to bronchiactisis. He was 88 but young at heart and anbulatory.
help!