I’m looking for any feedback I can get, as I’m still very early in this process. I’ve had a vague idea for a fantasy novel in my head for a while now, and I’ve just recently started to actually work on it.
This excerpt comes from the introduction to one of my two main protagonists, and is also the introduction to my main setting, and would likely be the start of either my second or third chapter. The setting is inspired by the ancient Near/Middle East during the rule of the Roman Empire. The general plot involves an Imperial official being sent to mediate growing turmoil and violence in one of the Empire’s client kingdoms. I’m going for a story with a lot of political intrigue and commentary on the nature of imperialism and religion.
I know that this is probably not very good, and am looking to receive any advice I can.