I guess I’d describe myself as financially comfortable. Not rich, but you know, fine. I thought about trying to do charity work but I uhhh frankly hated it. I thought you know, art, that’s meaningful, right? Also no. I don’t like sports or video games.
So far I’ve tried picking up a bunch of hobbies. Which are, I mean, fine but frankly I’d rather just you know. Not. Do them. Mostly I just want to watch TV. Like it’s not like I don’t enjoy you know birding or gardening or whatever it just seems like a lot of work without a whole lot of meaningful pay-off. I’ve tried religion but TBH that just leaves me totally cold as well.
I’ve tried travel and while I enjoyed the time that I wasn’t working, I can’t say I really liked the actual travel part very much. Most places aren’t meaningfully distinct from other places. People are people, weather is weather, food’s food.
I kinda wonder if this is just what being alive feels like and maybe I’m just looking too deeply into it. Like my dissatisfaction isn’t so much that life is underwhelming but that my expectations of… whelmed-ness are too high. But I don’t really feel like I’m expecting much. I guess I just feel bored. It’s very easy for me to know what I don’t want, but it’s much harder for me to find anything I’m all that excited about.