u/Graceandbeauty1979

I really loathe Mother's Day for so many reasons. I usually try to avoid going out but I had a really bad day yesterday and don't want to sit around sulking so I'm going to the museum anyway.

Why the hate?

1. Men make every woman they see a mother and think they should be rewarded for giving us all a Happy Mother' Day in the style of a catcall. Most view it as a pickup line and/or some kind of reparations. They don't even know if you are a mom or not. Which is also enraging because it shows they see us all as moms first and foremost. We don't just yell Happy Father's Day to anyone with a penis. Why do they think this is normal? If I say I don't have kids they say well you may with no regard to if I want kids, can't have kids, or lost kids. Then they will say it's to honor all women. No, it's not. It's to honor mothers. If they want to just honor women then they can do that on the daily. Most won't even acknowledge the single month dedicated to us. Then they will say, well it's because I have a mom...
2. But I don't. People have no idea of one's relationship to motherhood. Many women had absent mothers, mothers who are dead, moms who were abusive or maybe even never met their mom. My mom was a neglectful drug addict and she died. My feelings about motherhood are not warm and fuzzy.
3. Then, there is the obligation for us to acknowledge any mom no matter the history. I just sent my stepmom the obligatory text. I have no feelings about this woman that naturally make me want to do this. She is manipulative and judgmental. So today I'm supposed to act like we are really family and have a relationship?
4. Every place is crowded. I'm taking myself to the museum but know it is going to be overrun with families. I'll make the best of it because I know there is no safe space, lol. And again, I don't want to stay at home after a crappy Saturday.
5. And I have to go to the museum alone. I don't mind doing things by myself, like at all. But people pity those who are alone on Mother's Day, especially women. All of my local friends are actually with their moms so I have no choice but to be looked at as “pathetic“. Fine, whatever. My usual solo Mother's Day tradition is to actually watch some fucked up mom movie to be ironic. The last two years it was Eve's Bayou (fucked up dad moreso but the mom was a pick me enabler) and The Joy Luck Club.
6. And most importantly one single day does not absolve all of the trauma, unpaid labor, expectation, and coercive history of motherhood. Some flowers and brunch do not even the score. And shit, so many deserving mothers still get nothing today and are just tasked with carrying on as usual. Or they do get taken out but still did all the planning and are wrangling children at the cafe table and the dad gets praised for "honoring" her. Let alone the amount of wives and girlfriends who end of buying the man's mom the gifts and planning the outing.

Any one else have salty thoughts about today?

ETA: I have no idea why some are interpreting this post as hating moms. I literally say in the post Mother’s Day doesn't come anywhere close to honoring mothers. I didn’t say I want the day to be abolished or that no mom is worth celebrating. I actually wished several women in my life Happy Mother’s Day and think they are great moms who should be rewarded for all they do. That doesn’t negate the negative personal feelings I have about the day and my experiences. Not everyone will relate.