Last week I was hospitalised with mastitis for 7 days. It was so bad I went septic, was on IV antibiotics followed up with 10 days of oral antibiotics and it turned out I had strep B in my breast (what the fuck?!!). After 3 days of triple feeding to try and build my supply again, I made the decision to give up breastfeeding. (I should add I triple fed for 2 months with my son and I just knew it wasn’t for me). This decision was also based off the fact that my daughter has a lip tie, she started refusing the breast, and I was so traumatised and sleep deprived from the ordeal that my mental health had tanked.
I am so devastated about the whole situation.
I have a 2 yo boy who was also formula fed and so I have a walking example in my house that it doesn’t matter in the long run whether your child is formula or breastfed. But my daughter’s first week was so magical and perfect in terms of feeding that this 180 change has completely left me devastated and flummoxed.
I am finding it really hard trying to find similar situations, as quite often when you look up mastitis, it offers advice on building supply and recovering again. While I know my case was severe, these messages of advice make me feel like I didn’t try hard enough or that I “failed”. Many midwives when I was in hospital said it was one of the worst cases of mastitis they’d seen, so I should know that I wasn’t “weak”.
My daughter is beautiful and healthy and I love her so much. She is thriving on formula and I have successfully weaned myself now. I just want to know I’m not alone in this.