For most people, seeing is believing, but what do you do when your eyes and your mind betray you?
Everything I am going to tell you is 100% the absolute truth- at least as I remember it. When I was a little boy, my uncle told me to never go past the tree line on his property. Our family owned about 30 acres of forest up in southern Oklahoma; most of it wasn't cleared and was left to the wilderness. A dense wall of cedar elm and loblolly pine. My Sushki told me that if I got lost out in that maze of a thicket, they might not be able to find me, which terrified me.
When you're 13, though, you feel as if you are invincible. In my mind, everything always worked out in my favor, and my Sushki would never let anything bad happen to me. I was her baby boy, her little warrior, and the oldest of three. My little sister Angela is the baby, and my little brother Ira is the forgotten middle child.
"Bobby, can we pleeeaaase go and play outside?" Ira whined in my ear as I was trying to heat my breakfast burrito.
"No, dude, cousins are comin' over later, so we'll just go outside then," I said, blowing on my steaming plate.* *
"Ugh, but I'm boooored." Ira laid on the couch, burying his face in it.
"Who's all comin' over anyway?" Ira moaned.
"I dunno, I think Uncle Aaron is bringing his new wife and her kid." I took a bite of my breakfast burrito, burning the roof of my mouth.* *
"Oh, the este hvtke lady with that pasty boy?" I chortled slightly.
"Yep, but Uncle Woody is bringing the twins, and Uncle Mike is bringing Blaze." Ira slumped down to the floor.* *
"Bobby, why couldn't we go to Tulsa with Angela and Sushki?"
"Trust me, dude, you don't wanna go to Tulsa. It's nothing but meth heads and country gang bangers there."
Ira side-eyed me, "Ew."
My Sushki took my sister Angela to Tulsa for a basketball tournament and dropped Ira and me off with our uncles, since neither Ira nor I cared for basketball. It also gave her the chance to offload us to family, which she took every chance to do. I can't blame her. Raising three crazy Indian kids by yourself doesn't look easy, and even if our dad were still here, he'd probably just piss her off more than we do.
Around lunch time, our cousins showed up, and we played hide and seek while we waited for lunch to be ready. It was going to take a while since our uncles were drinking beer and reminiscing over the glory days of Sooners football.
"Alright, y'all Imma count to 10 Mississippi and start lookin'."
Blaze was the oldest and was in charge most of the time. Once he started, we all scattered, and Ira followed me to an old shed on the edge of the clearing on the property. "Pssst, Bobby, let's go to the edge of the brush, just on the edge, no one will find us." "Dude, no, we're not supposed to go out there." Ira looked back at the tree line. "We can just go in a few feet, just enough for them not to see us."
"Okay, fine, but just a few feet." I took Ira's hand, and we ducked into the brush.
"Do not even think about leaving my sight!"
** **We crept slowly and cat-like into the brush so as not to make any noise. Once we got settled behind an old tree stump, both Ira and I had been crouched for a few minutes when we heard what sounded like one of the twins make their way behind the shed where Ira and I had once hidden. *Achoo* Ira had let out the slightest of sneezes, but just enough to warrant one of the twins to turn around and search the tree line. I eased back slowly with Ira so as not to make any noise. Before I knew it, I put a foot back to feel the earth leave from right out below me. As I fell, I pushed Ira so he wouldn't fall with me.
I tumbled below, rolling nonstop, letting gravity have its way with me as I crashed and slammed against the slope of the hill. I came to a sudden, abrasive stop, looking up at the canopy of trees that enveloped me.
"Bobby, are you okay?" I heard Ira echoing in my ears as I struggled to rise. I hollered out to Ira.
"I'm okay, Ira! I just fell down a hill!"
**"**Do you need help?"
"I'm okay, I'm just gonna walk around it and find a way up there."
"You're not hurt, are you?"
'My legs are a little busted up, but I can make my way."
"Should I go get Curtis and all of them?'
The sun was begging to go down, and I knew before I knew it, it'd be dark.
"Yeah, it'd be best, I don't know how long it could take me to get up there'
"Okay, I'll be right back!"
Once Ira ran off with our cousins, I took a look around. The reality of my situation sank in, and once I realized the danger I was in, I did my best to keep calm. My thigh pulsed from the fall I took, making it difficult to move, and I stumbled around in the dense forest. I did my best to find my bearings.
I made my way around the face of this hill to find a smaller, less challenging slope I could climb up. Having made my way a few yards, I eventually noticed something was off; it had been a few minutes since I had heard any birds chirping or the hum of insects in the forest. Just me and the still lifeless forest, silence had never made me feel like a foreigner before. Then I began to feel observed, but I couldn't see what was causing it. I was only accompanied by the trees and the moss.
Then, from my peripheral vision, I swear I saw something or someone from behind a tree. I quickly jerked my head around to face it head-on and was met with more foliage.
"What the fuck?" Then, a few yards away from me, I saw the same thing peeking around at me. When I whipped my head around, I once again was met with nothing, just the still dead silence. Whatever was watching me was managing to stay just out of my line of sight. Once I saw it peek again, I kept it in my peripheral vision for a moment so I could get a better view of it, even if only for a few seconds. It was somewhere between 8 and 10ft tall. Slender build and long extremities, it was dark and resembled a silhouette more than anything.
The figure was like a shadow trying to imitate a human in some dark, stretched-out attempt. Whatever it was seemed like it was hunting me; it saw me as an injured deer limping before death, trying to extend my borrowed time as much as possible. It wasn't alone either; it couldn't be. No matter which way I turned, it was there. I began to hobble, moving as fast as I possibly could, trying to find a way out of this maze. Looking left and right, I saw more trees; I came to the low-sloped face of the hill. I tried to climb up it, clawing my way slowly up it in a hysteria, then I finally heard something.
“Aye chvpon up here!’
I looked up and saw my uncle Curtis's face; a warmth fell over me as I had never felt before.
"Grab onto this rope here."
I grabbed a thick, bright rope he had tossed down and wrapped it around my waist as he pulled me up above the crest of the slope.
"What's wrong, boy, you look like you've seen a ghost?"
I don't know what I'd seen or rather what I hadn't seen, it had seen me more than I saw it. My uncles brought me inside, calmed me down, patched up my leg, and gave me some supper. After such stress, my uncles laid me down to rest. Ira was worried about me, but our uncles reassured him that I wasn't going to die, which is something I wasn't too sure of.
"Bobby imma need you to tell me what it was you saw out there that has you this shook up."
"You wouldn't believe me, I'd just sound crazy."
"Boy, I've lived out here my whole life, and I know these woods, so believe me, it'll take a lot to surprise me."
"It got quiet in the woods, like dead silent. Then I kept feeling like someone was watching me, something just out of my line of sight. Right out of the corner of my eye."
"What does it look like?"
"It was tall, slim, and looked like a shadow. It kept peeking at me from behind the trees. The more and more I couldn't see it, the more paranoid I felt; it was like all my anxieties attacked me at once."
"Boy, it sounds like a Nalusa Falaya."
"Huh?"
"It's a shadow creature that stays hidden just out of sight and uses your paranoia against you, making you go mad. Our people have been warding these things off for generations."
"Are they gonna kill me?"
"Not necessarily, they drive you to make rash and emotional decisions. Use your fears against you, they'll drive you mad if you let them."
"How can I get rid of them?"
"I don't know if you can, but this is their home just as much as it is ours. The best bet is to stay away from the woods and keep your distance. Cuz once they got your scent, they're gonna want more."
Part 2
Five years had passed; Ira was older than I was when I had my encounter with the Nalusa Falaya. We had both grown closer over the years, especially once we had learned our uncle Curtis had passed away, the circumstances of which weren't fully disclosed to Ira and me. Our uncle Mike would take over the family land, and since Ira and I were the ones closest to Curtis, we opted to spend the week with one of his closest childhood friends, Willie.
Willie was pretty much one of our uncles because of how close he was to Curtis; they had grown up together and were even battle buddies during Vietnam. Angela and our Sushki had stayed with one of our aunts a few miles down the FM road, so we weren't too far from them. Willie had been taking care of our family property since Curtis had gotten sick, and was going to stay there until Mike and Blaze could fully move in. I hadn't been back since my run-in with the Nalusa Falaya, so I was understandably hesitant to stay the night there at that house, but I felt maybe my uncle's spirit would keep me safe.
We had our ceremony, sang our hymns, like Choctaw hymn 21, and had our feast in my uncle's honor, but the entire time I felt like I was being watched, not like it had been from up above. Ira, Willie, and I cleaned up and headed back to Curtis' house.
" Yo, are you okay, Bobby? You've seemed like you're scared of something." Ira could tell my anxiety was eating at me; he could always see right through me.
"Ira, do you ever feel like you're being watched? Like someone or something is constantly observing you, and you can't ever see what it is?"
"Like God or something?"
"No. Something more malicious, more akin to the devil."
"No, I've never felt that, but I feel like you're gonna tell me about it."
"Remember when we were younger, and I fell down that hill in the woods out back?"
"Yeah, I remember, you were really shaken up after that."
"While I was down there, something was constantly watching me, making me feel like I was going crazy. Always just out of the corner of my vision, and when I finally got a better look, I swear I saw a tall and lanky shadow figure. No matter how quickly I turned my head to get a good look at it, it disappeared behind a tree. Curtis called it a Nalusa Falaya."
"What else did he say about it?"
"Just that it apparently drives you mad and uses your fears against you, and once it gets your scent, it'll want more."
"Do you think Willie would know anything about it? He's supposed to know more about that old Indian stuff than anyone."
"I haven't told anyone except Curtis?"
"We need to bring this up to Willie; he's the only one who could help us."
We ended up bringing my story to Willie and told him everything in detail when we had supper the next day.
"Have you felt its presence since returning?"
"Yes, at first, I thought it was Curtis' spirit watching me, but then I quickly realized it wasn't protecting me, but it was stalking me."
"I've dealt with Nalusa Falaya before, but I was a much younger man than I am now. The white man calls them a "look around". It doesn't matter your age, sex, color, or rank. So long as you have the one thing it feeds on, it'll hunt you down and suck you dry of everything it can and move on to the next."
***"***Why me? What did I do to deserve this?"
"You fell into its nest and gave it what it wanted."
Willie, Ira, and I had planned to go into the woods to pray and perform a ritual that would ward off the Look around and bring peace to the forest.
That night when I was sleeping, I kept having a nightmare where I was in a school in the 1950s and was small again. I was surrounded by kids my own age who looked like me, then our teacher, who was a priest, walked in and started speaking a language I couldn't understand. He called upon me, and for what I could only assume was the answer to a question he had asked the class. When I spoke to him, I couldn't understand him. He yelled at me and kept repeating something I couldn't comprehend.
The other kids looked at me in pity as the Priest took me by the arm and aggressively dragged me to what I assumed was the headmaster's office. On our way there, we had passed a room where a boy older than me was being beaten by a nun, and another room where young boys were being lined up and having their ponytails chopped off. One boy looked at me, tears streaming down his face, begging for help and calling out to his mom and dad. Around the corner, I saw a priest leaning over a young girl a little older than me as she sat at her desk, with a predatory look in his eyes. He turned and shot me a sour look and slammed the door.
After one final stretch, we made it to the headmaster's office, where I was met with an old, withered white priest who sat me down. Once I was seated, I noticed Ira was next to me, a younger version of himself. Ira turned to me with a look of absolute dread, fearing what would happen next.
"You little savages are now orphans, both of your parents perished living your archaic lifestyle, fighting a senseless fight. All because you people can't seem to understand that we're trying to help you in the name of Jesus. But you're too stubborn to listen."
He stood by his large desk and reached behind it, revealing a long wooden switch.
"You two are to go by your Christian names, John and Aaron, and speak English. The lord gifted you with a voice, so don't waste it on that dirty baboon language of yours."
The Priest gripped his switch so tight I thought it would've snapped under the pressure of his fists.
"You two could die, and no one would notice."
I bolted up to throw a punch at him, but froze as if I had no control over my body. Once the Priest arose, I felt an invisible force push me into my chair. Then I noticed long braids of hair had wrapped around Ira and me, restraining us in the chairs. The Priest raised his switch and began to beat Ira, his blood-curdling screams ringing in my ears as I sat helplessly, forced to watch my brother plead for help. I cried out for help, but felt my airway being suffocated by long strands of hair; the thing that gave us our strength was killing me.
My vision darkened, then I quickly felt the sensation of falling and jumped out of my bed. Sweating and panting, I turned to see that, luckily, I hadn't woken up Ira. As I caught my breath, I made my way to the kitchen to grab some water and calm myself down. Making my way there, I kept feeling a sense of unease in the air. Running my hand under the kitchen sink and splashing my face made me feel more at ease. Once I began drinking my glass, I felt that feeling that I wasn't alone. Peering up out of the kitchen window, I noticed it. The Look around.
This time, it wasn't darting away but rather peering behind me with its glowing eyes that gave off a red and orange hue. I felt my heart beating out of my chest with every pump, every fiber of my being telling me to run as far as I could from this monster. As I slowly backed away from the sink, my grip loosened on my glass, and it shattered on the floor, snapping me back to reality. I looked down at the glass and back up, unable to find the monster.
Willie came in, turning on the kitchen light.
"What the hell is going on? Are you okay?"
I panicked and told him about my nightmare, then I pointed out the window.
"Right there past the tree line. I saw it! It's glowing eyes! It saw me!"
All the screaming woke Ira, and he stumbled into the kitchen.
'You boys are sleeping in my room for the rest of the night. Once the sun rises, we need to start the ceremony."
Part 3
I woke up and saw Willie packing a bag.
"I made breakfast, you two are gonna need it, so grab some fry bread, eggs, and bacon. Probably gonna want some coffee too, we're gonna be in for a rough one for the day."
Ira and I discussed and decided that I would take a shower first since I was quicker while he ate breakfast, and then we'd swap. While I was eating breakfast, I heard Willie in the bedroom talking on the phone.
"I have the hymns and the smudging materials and the eagle feathers, what else do I need? I have a shirt of Curtis's. Is that good enough? I can bring his war uniform. Okay, I'll see you soon. Mvto."
I didn't know who he was speaking to at the time, but it was the most panicked I had ever heard Willie. When Ira came to the table to grab some more bacon, I asked him who Willie was talking to.
"Someone named Ozzie? I'm not sure who that is, though."
"Ozzie was someone who served with Curtis and Willie, an old war buddy. Never met him, but I've heard Curtis and Willie mention him as like a big brother or something."
I didn't know how this guy could help, but if Willie and Curtis trusted him with their lives, then I trusted him with mine. As we packed, I asked Willie who Ozzie was and why he was so important to this.
"Ozzie's real name is Bill Oceola; in the army, they shortened it to Ozzie. He's Seminole and from the Panther clan; Ozzie and his family have a very strong connection to a world that we don't. He's gonna help us channel something greater than us to ward off this evil."
Just then, an old beat-up Chevy cruised up the long dirt driveway leading to Curtis' house, and an older man hopped out, looking like another one of my uncles, whom I could only assume was Ozzie.
"How's my little cousin doing?"
Ozzie spoke in a deep but jolly voice, almost like he was Santa with a bag of spiritual goodies that any hippie white woman would die for.
"How you been holding up, old man?"
Willie handed Ozzie a box of Marlboro Reds and gave him the hug of two friends who haven't seen one another in at least a lifetime.
"Where's the young one at?"
"Nice to meet you, Ozzie. I've heard a lot about you from Curtis and Willie."
"Only bad things, I assume."
"I've heard you're like a big brother to them and looked out for them during Vietnam."
"Vietnam, school, football, shoot, I'd even beat up the white kids that gave us trouble in Stillwater. They're like my little brothers, and I'd do anything to protect them; I assume you know what that's like."
I glanced at Ira and nodded.
"Skoden chvpon, we're burning daylight, and it'll be dark before we know it."
We set out on ATVs and rode down the one faint trail through our family land, a path so unnoticed that I wouldn't be able to spot it unless I was behind my uncle's tail.
We stopped and came to a small clearing with maybe an hour of daylight left to burn. Then Willie took Ira out to gather firewood; we'd need a lot since this fire would have to burn all through the ceremony and the night. While Ira and Willie were busy, Ozzie and I took care of building the sweat we'd need.
"Chvpon, you know how these things work, I assume?"
"Yeah, both Willie and Curtis explained everything to me for the most part."
"Did they tell you what you're going to have to do to ward this evil off?"
"No, but it seems like it's gonna be a lot."
"More than that, this thing is going to want to drink every last drop of fear you have in you. You have to show it that it won't get that from here anymore; show it you aren't scared anymore."
"But what if I am scared?"
"You have Willie, Ira, me, and even Curtis watching down on you. We will give our last dying breath to protect one of our own. So know whatever it shows you isn't real. It may feel more real than anything you can imagine, but it's not."
"How do you know? Have you dealt with these before?"
"When I was a little one, a child my age was targeted by one, and I watched my Puca ward off one."
"Will it try to hurt me? Physically, I mean?"
"Being hurt physically or mentally makes no difference; either way, you'll feel the pain even though it's not happening to your physical being."
We had finished placing blankets and skins in the sweat and made sure not even a slight breeze would creep its way in there.
"Chvpon, tell me, what do you fear the most. What will it weaponize the most against you?"
"Since it's been tormenting me, it realized to hurt me the most is to hurt Ira. I'd give my life for that kid."
"I can assure you nothing will happen to him; we'll do whatever we have to. I couldn't protect Curtis when I needed to, but I'll be damned if I don't protect Ira."
Just then, Ira and Willie showed up with kindling and firewood, started the fire, and Ozzie smudged us and our entire site to bless it and make sure we started with a clean area. We started with a prayer to our creator, then we stripped down to shorts only and made our way into the sweat, expelling any negative energy within us.
Then we sat and waited, meditated to cleanse our minds, and waited for the darkness to fall upon us.
Part 4
The night fell swiftly and calmly; it was the calmest I had felt in a long while. Brisk, cool, and sweet, a large part of me wished it would never end. The subtle beating of the hand drum, the soft chant by Ozzie, and the warm, dense air of the sweat covering all four of us like a thick blanket. The beating of the drum had stopped, and Ozzie had all four of us leave the sweat and go into the stark cold of the wilderness.
After we sat for a few minutes, Ozzie began chanting and singing, and we all joined in. Ozzie pulled out one of Curtis' shirts and a photo of my dad. A few minutes had passed, then I noticed that feeling again, A feeling of dread and despair. Then I felt it staring at me, just out of the corner of my eye, I saw it lurking behind a tree just a few yards behind Ira. With my heart palpitating and my breathing quickening, I kept reminding myself of the words that Ozzie told me.
I closed my eyes, tried to slow my breathing, and focused on staying calm and keeping my sanity. Then I blinked and saw the Nalusa Falaya standing over Ira.
*"*Stop! Don't hurt him!"
Ira looked at me with panic in his eyes, then I blinked again, and the Nalusa Falaya was gone.
"Ira just keep chanting Bobby has to fight this on his own!"
I look over and see the Nalusa Falaya again, right next to me; it grabs me with its long black arms and stares into my soul with its bright, glowing eyes. I start panicking as the long tendrils wrap around me tightly. The drum's pounding mocked my speeding heart, the chanting turning into a low drone in my mind. My eyes roll back in my head as I slip out of consciousness, still hearing the chant, somehow getting louder.
I saw visions of my father perishing in a house fire, skin bubbling, and mouth agape, struggling to find any source of clean air, but only being met with smoke. My father weeps, asking why I allowed him to burn and how now he's left to burn for eternity.
* * I saw Curtis whimper and whine on the edge of his bed as he grabbed a bottle of Hydros and swallowed the whole bottle, holding a picture of him and his war buddies in Vietnam.
"I wish it had been me, I'm so sorry," Curtis whispered to himself.
Then I saw Ira as an older man, older than our dad was when he passed. He was with a woman around his age and distraught, sitting bedside in a hospital next to a little girl, seemingly ill.
"Why would God do this to a child? What kind of God allows this?" he held her hand somberly.
These things felt real as water running through my fingertips. I remember Ozzie's words, but I can't help the thought of me being shown the truth. The being seemed to know more than I did, showing me the horrors it had seen and would take part in again.
Then, in silence, I was met with a foggy clearing in the woods. The Nalusa Falaya is tall, slender, and dark as midnight. I heard an oddly calm voice, out of place—a voice sounding like my mother reading me a bedtime story, a sweet and soft voice.
"Child, do you really think I can be fooled? I know and sense every fear you have, I know you better than you know yourself."
"I'm not going to give you what you want; you can't hurt me."
"Child, I am a mirror into your inner workings. I am a reflection of you and only show you reality."
"No! You lie and deceive me. I will not succumb; I won't listen to your lies!"
"You, stupid and worthless child, you truly believe you are more than me? I have been around for a millennium. Shaping you humans and your idiotic minds. You think Judas would turn in Jesus, knowing Jesus knew he would be betrayed? Judas was destined to betray Jesus; someone had to, and had it not been him, I would have made someone else do it. These are necessary evils, child, things your mind cannot comprehend. I am inevitable."
"You're a thirsty monster, one who has no place here."
Then I felt someone behind me, and I turned and saw Curtis with an eagle staff. Seeing how even in the face of the embodiment of fear itself, he would be there with me, and much like him, when the time should come, I would always be there for Ira. The chanting from Ira, Willie, and Ozzie grew louder; it began booming and echoing. Chanting so loud and so powerful, I could feel the voices of my entire lineage with me. The Nalusa Falaya began to curl and shrivel in pain; it yelped for me to stop. Seeing it squirm in agony brought me comfort and assurance that it couldn't hurt me at all.
Then I opened my eyes and saw the tree canopy above me, shading me from the morning daybreak. Surrounding me were Ira, Willie, and Ozzie, all of them half-awake but still chanting, and Ozzie still beating on his hand drum. I sat up, and they quickly stopped to check on me.
"Bobby, are you okay? How'd go?"
"I think I'm alright? I saw Curtis and my dad and all of you guys."
"Don't tell us anymore, Bobby. What happened to you here is sacred and shouldn't be spoken of. You speaking it could bring it back; all we need to know is that you're alive and okay." ** **
"I'm okay thanks to you guys."
"It's what you have family for; we help each other, no questions asked."
Ira helped me up and hugged me tight, something we hadn't done in a long while. We had Ozzie smudge us, which cleansed us, and we packed up. Ira put his arm around me and whispered to me.
"You're gonna tell me what happened, right?"
"Maybe one day, but not right now."
He sighed. "Ugh, fine.... Some days are a good day to die, some days are a good day to have breakfast."
7 more years have passed, and you may be wondering why I am not following Ozzie's wishes and telling everyone this. Last week, my sister Angela called me and said she was feeling a bit paranoid but couldn't tell why. She's 19 and probably paranoid about everything, so I asked if she had been to the doctor for SSRIs. She said she had been taking Lexapro, but it wasn't working. Then she mentioned that she had been feeling stalked and had been seeing a shadow figure out of the corner of her eye.
My heart sank because I knew what battle she would be in for. Afterward, I called Ira to let him know about Angela. Ira said he was just on the phone with Blaze, and he said he'd been seeing the same thing.
The thing wasn't just watching me anymore.