u/Good_day_sir_i_say

Every time I’m around fire it triggers some deep anxiety I can’t get over. I find myself on a fire on minute digging line or mopping up and for some reason I see the flames and instantly start to panic. I’ve tried talking to my piers and those around me and they don’t understand. One minute I’m fine working and the next I just wanna go sit in the porta potties and inhale as strong as I can. It somehow calms me down. The smell of the blue rooms, the hand sanitizer, the single ply toilet paper. It’s my happy place. I’ve talked to my wife about it and she just can’t understand, she doesn’t fight the dragon like we do. She doesn’t see the guys coming out sweaty and leaving cum on the toilet rim, she doesn’t see the shit piled above the blue water. If she did she might start to understand me and this job more. Nobody does what we do, nobody fights what they fear. Thank you all for your service and please keep up the hard work god bless America.