Met LO 2y ago when both of us visited our close parents in another country who live door by door. We also live 10min away from each other at home. I was at a dark place because of some other stuff and going out with her and her coming over everyday literally kept me going. That shit stuck with me even when nothing came out of it. We were both supposed to move in with our parents and you can already guess the family’s closeness and everything i fantasized about. After a few dates and some flirting nothing came of it, she avoided me back home.
I spent the next year torturing myself wondering what i did wrong. I then find out she has a bf and for the next 3 months i was dead weight. Those 6 months were worse than the thing that put me in the dark place when i met her.
3 months after that it started slowing down significantly, cause i found out that she also had another bf before the current one, when we had met each other. She and her family were hiding the relationship because they were always on or off and knew it wouldn’t work out. And it didn’t, she has a new one now. I found out some other shit about her, that if i knew another girl did i wouldn’t look at twice. Not that serious stuff but not my standard.
I was literally healed, there were days where wouldn’t even have a thought about her and when i did i kind of found it boring if you know what i mean
. I finally knew it wasn’t her who saved me it was me through fantasizing about her, she literally did nothing and went out with me a few times.
But i am again visiting my parents and she is too, and while they aren’t neighbors anymore they will come over at-least once. They even invited themselves. I tried to plead with my mom and dad to make up an excuse but they said im being childish.
Im scared shitless and I’ve barely slept these last 2 days, and when i fall asleep she is in my dreams. I really don’t want to fucking see her. And when i also think of how she doesn’t care that i even exist i feel pathetic…