u/Good_Cat7489

I’m curious if anyone else has experienced both AGP and unhealthy levels of introversion, not really suggesting that one causes the other, but they seem to be somewhat correlated.
I’d even say that when I was dressing up more I was less introverted, and probably healthier mentally. I just realized that my true self is more introspective and reserved than I was portraying and I was not as comfortable being so social.
I don’t really think my level of introversion is healthy but I was just considering an unhindered sexuality that was discussed in another post and Jungian take on paraphilias. My mental health may very well be better if I leaned into my sexuality more instead of treating it as something that is wrong. Im not really suggesting that agp or being gay is wrong but I was brought up believing sex is wrong except in marriage and being gay does make it even less acceptable, even more so when you desire to be a feminine male. I’m better about it now, but it’s not necessarily comfortable, it feels weird changing habits even if it’s something I want and desire, and I’ve spent a lot of time in introspection and being introverted instead of actually living.
Introspection seems to be unhealthy in excess which leads to introversion, I guess regardless of AGP, but it seems like many AGPs struggle with just being in their head which doesn’t really help them, or at least that was my case.

I think it’s put together by the same guy who has the Welding Codex podcast. It’s pretty cheap compared to SI certs ($360 vs $1200) and he even has in person classes in Houston Tx, but I can’t find any reviews. Has anyone used the online training before?

Having AGP/AAP puts your desires at odds with societal expectations. I’m AGP, and for me, this has always been the most difficult part of it whether I’m presenting masc or fem. There are pros and cons to each, but the fear of rejection never seems to go away. I’ve pushed everyone away in my life because of this and developed an anxious avoidant attachment style. This trauma induced attachment style seems the real reason I’m depressed, but to me it has always seemed to be caused by agp.

I started exploring my sexuality some years ago, and found I was genuinely attracted to men, and discovered that as I did, my attraction to women lessened. But in some ways that made my depression worse. Men wanted sex, women wanted stability, but nobody seemed to actually want me for me. I no longer felt like a freak because I was a guy who dressed up as a woman, I felt like a freak because I didn’t know anyone who liked me or accepted me. Even among those in the LGBTQ+ community, I felt different, lesser than, more conservative, not truly freely expressive and definitely an outsider.

I doubt I will ever get better at my age, it has only gotten worse. It maybe duller and less new, but the consequences of being AGP just suck. I will always question if I could have done something different no matter how much I’ve achieved in other parts of my life. It has crossed my mind that other people don’t find me attractive because of my outlook, but my outlook is shaped by years of being human. Idk, I think life would be pretty nice if it weren’t for this sex drive constantly telling me to find a partner, then I could forget about AGP and just do something productive.