How do I continue being friends with someone with conflicting morals?
I (22F) am currently facing a dilemma regarding my friendship with my best friend.
She isn’t a bad person, and she has always been caring toward me. But over the past year, I feel like her personality has changed in ways that make me uncomfortable. She has become extremely focused on money and status. She often says things like no woman should “settle” for a man unless he earns above a certain amount, owns certain kinds of property, or has an international job — with a huge emphasis on the “international” part.
She also has multiple situationships where, from my perspective, the men seem genuinely emotionally invested in her, while she mainly enjoys the financial benefits and attention they provide. I know she has been shaped by some very harsh circumstances in life, and I do sympathize with that. But I’m conflicted about whether difficult experiences excuse certain behaviors.
Another thing that bothers me is the mindset she’s developed around people and money. She tends to assume that if someone is financially well-off, then they don’t really need emotional support. For example, if someone went through a major surgery or difficult incident, her reaction would be something like: “They’re rich, they probably hired help or have people taking care of them already, why would I need to check in?”
I find this way of thinking strange and honestly a little unsettling.
The confusing part is that she has never treated me badly. She’s still kind and supportive toward me personally, which is why I feel guilty even questioning the friendship.
So now I’m conflicted. Am I overthinking this? Should I be concerned about these changes in her values and behavior, or should I not interfere since she hasn’t actually wronged me directly?