u/GoodApplication1425

My boyfriend (30M) and I (30F) have been together for 6 months now. We talked online for a month before meeting, then we hung out for a month before being intimate, not long after that he asked me to be his girlfriend.

He actually made it a point to not have sex with me for at least a month, and he was very affectionate with me in a sweet way physically during that time.

Physical touch is huge for me. I told my boyfriend this before we got together, and I told him my ex would be annoyed at the amount of affection I would give, and he said he was the same way and he loved physical touch.

Well that isn’t seeming to be the case. He never touches me. He doesn’t kiss me. Most of the time he will “kiss” me when greeting me or leaving and our lips won’t even make contact and he doesn’t even try to kiss me again.

I constantly will try and initiate cuddling or kissing or just try and caress his body sweetly while we are together and he either doesn’t respond or he moves away and doesn’t want me to touch him.

Then to make matters worse he brought up the fact that “I don’t initiate enough sexually.” While this is true, I don’t understand how he would expect me to have the comfortability to do that when he flinches every time I try to touch him AT ALL.

I thought I was doing better during sexual encounters touching him more sexually and stuff but he brought it up again, btw I was the one who had to ask if everything was okay because he was just simply acting weird. This is a common theme, he will be upset about soemthing but won’t say what and treats me strangely.

I always would hold space for his emotions and listen and try and do better. But when I brought it up to him on a different occasion that I still don’t feel like he is being physically affectionate to me, he basically cut me off to tell me it was because I will wasn’t initiating sexually enough. I couldn’t really believe he would use that as the reasoning when again, how does he expect me to feel comfortable initiating when I don’t even have a safe foundation to touch and cuddle him and be romantic together? Every time I think he’s actually just being sweet he ends up having sex with me. And when I bring up him reacting negatively to my touch he basically says because it isn’t sexual and that’s what he wants not my “cutesy bs”. When I brought up that I felt like he only touches me to have sex he started CRYING because he “waited for a month to have sex with me” and “he didn’t want sex to be this important to him but it iss”

This week we made Kandi all week for a festival we’re going to next week. We have had basically no physical contact. He decided to stay the night last night. He finally started kissing and cuddling MY FEET like I want to be treated. He has a fetish. But like, you can give my fcking feet that treatment but not me, your actual girlfriend?? I turned around the right way to him because I wanted some affection for once and then i could feel his entire body language change when he realized we weren’t going to have sex, and then he stopped touching me completely and hugged a pillow to sleep. This morning same thing, he woke me up cuddling me and stuff, but when he realized it wasn’t leading to sex he had absolutely no interest in me. He will do this thing where he just lays in bed but he’s awake, but he won’t say anything or touch me, I think he’s waiting for me to initiate, when I didn’t this morning he just got all his things and left. I knew he was upset about it but he didn’t bring it up and I’m tired of the emotional labor of breaking down his emotions every time he is in a mood and pulling things out of him. If I don’t I just have to deal with him acting strangely towards me.

I am at a loss here. Am I doing something wrong? Could I bring this up in a way he somehow understands and would care? Right now I’m not really getting the vibe that he cares about me at all. At this point I’m not even sure I can have sex with him again because this is all giving me a really bad taste in my mouth.