u/Good-Chard2955

I feel burnout and suicidal. (No judgement pls )

(24F) I recently lost my job (been a month) and i have been looking for something decent to cover the rent and other expenses. I managed to find something part time. It is the mall. However, it is exhausting to the point i cannot even stand properly. It caused me back pain. I also feel like my feets are on fire.

What is more surprising is that they do not pay only after two or three months. I worked there for a week. Then, i stopped. I could not handle this anymore. I was still trying to look for something that can cover at least my rent and my expenses but i could not find anything. I swear i tried everything but nothing is working for me and i dont understand why. Its like no matter what i do its always wrong or not enough.

I do not have anyone. I cannot even call someone and just say i need help. I cannot even go back to my country because my dad and my brother are very abusive and people dont understand this part. They think going back home is safe but for me its not, its worse. Its not even an option for me.

I feel like my back is so broked and i cannot carry anything anymore. Not stress not fear not even my own thoughts. This month feels like a nightmare that i cannot wake up from. Every day i wake up scared and i dont even know from what exactly but its always there.

I feel like all of my life is in danger in a real way not just feelings. Like something bad can happen anytime and nobody will even know or care. And i keep asking myself why i have to go through all of this alone why my life has to be like this.

I do not feel safe at all. Not where i live not outside not even inside my own head. Its like there is no place for me to breathe or feel okay even for a moment. And im so tired of trying to be strong when inside i feel like im already falling apart.

(24F) I recently lost my job (been a month) and i have been looking for something decent to cover the rent and other expenses. I managed to find something part time. It is the mall. However, it is exhausting to the point i cannot even stand properly. It caused me back pain. I also feel like my feets are on fire.

What is more surprising is that they do not pay only after two or three months. I worked there for a week. Then, i stopped. I could not handle this anymore. I was still trying to look for something that can cover at least my rent and my expenses but i could not find anything. I swear i tried everything but nothing is working for me and i dont understand why. Its like no matter what i do its always wrong or not enough.

I do not have anyone. I cannot even call someone and just say i need help. I cannot even go back to my country because my dad and my brother are very abusive and people dont understand this part. They think going back home is safe but for me its not, its worse. Its not even an option for me.

I feel like my back is so broked and i cannot carry anything anymore. Not stress not fear not even my own thoughts. This month feels like a nightmare that i cannot wake up from. Every day i wake up scared and i dont even know from what exactly but its always there.

I feel like all of my life is in danger in a real way not just feelings. Like something bad can happen anytime and nobody will even know or care. And i keep asking myself why i have to go through all of this alone why my life has to be like this.

I do not feel safe at all. Not where i live not outside not even inside my own head. Its like there is no place for me to breathe or feel okay even for a moment. And im so tired of trying to be strong when inside i feel like im already falling apart.