stage fright that won't quit
Hey improv pals,
I have been performing in some capacity since I was in elementary school (I'm in my 40s now). I've acted, sang in bands, performed solo, done drag, made videos of myself being goofy and posted them on the internet. In the last few years, I've developed an intense level of pre-show anxiety that is fully debilitating. Like, can't sleep at night, feel panicked all the time levels of anxiety.
I started doing improv as a way to try to trick myself into being more comfortable on stage again (thinking...i can't plan for it, i can't obsess about my moves or lyrics, so i can't be afraid, right? wrong!). even though I know that my team has my back and that the audience is supportive, I am still so panicked before shows. Right now I'm only performing 1x per month, but over the summer it will be 3x per month.
I've taken a year of classes and workshops, gone to jams many times, and now attend 2 weekly practice sessions. All in hopes to feel confident enough to just get out there and let the improv happen.
I'd love to hear from any other performers who have managed to find their way out of full nervous system panic to just enjoying the creative tomfoolery of improv/performing again. Sincerely, improv has been such a blessing in my life both creatively and socially. I really get so much out of it and really LOVE when i feel myself in my zone of genius in a scene. I feel so proud of myself for doing it. AND ALSO holy shit, i am worried its gonna give me a heart attack.
(Also, beta blockers kinda stunt my creative flow and give me bad rebound anxiety, so I really would rather not use them!)
Thanks for reading. ❤️
edited to add: i've focused on this topic at length with my therapist as well.