AITAH for not wanting to include my sister in my pregnancy journey?
I (40F) and my younger sister (35F) do not get along at all. Never did. I’m an extrovert with a loud personality and yes a big mouth lol. She is more reserved and introverted. I am an Independent and she is Democrat. I am a Christian and she is more Spiritual. I am the middle of three girls. My oldest sister (45F) and my youngest sister get along great. While growing up they hardly ever fought. I would fight with both my siblings but sort of had a better relationship with my oldest sister. Now while growing up I wasn’t an angel, one time I convinced my little sister, who I’ll call R, that she was adopted. When she confronted my mom about it she made it a point to say I was a liar, which yeah I did lie, but she made me mad. Anyways long story short….. never got along. As the years went by, she would make snide comments about how I’m not amounting to anything. She would also come into town and visit her in-laws and never tell me or my parents she was in town. We would find out 2 or 3 days later after some pictures were posted online. I confronted her about this and all she said was “Well if you were a better sister I would want to be around you”. All I wanted at that time was to be a part of her life and include her in mine, but apparently I was overstepping.
Fast forward to 2020 I had my first child, a beautiful boy. I live in the same town as my parents and my son is their only grandchild, as of right then. I was a single mom and so my parents helped me out a lot. I had a job and was working for 5 years until I lost my job in 2025. After that I looked and looked and looked for a job and was unable to find one. So I decided to go back to school. Full time for speech pathology. I get the maximum from FAFSA. Which helps so much with my son. But I did need help from time to time from my parents. Well R got wind of this she basically called me a moocher and that I am taking advantage of our parents. She accused me of being a lazy mom and that our mom was the raising my son and not me. He is with me 24/7 and my parents only see him once a week. I make sure he has food on the table, a roof over his head and clothes on his back…. But yeah sure my parents are the ones raising him. 🙄🙄🙄. Once R said that I was done. I was done with the verbal abuse just because she’s my “sister” So I blocked her on all social media. The only thing I didn’t block was her number from my phone. Once she found out she was blocked she messaged me and said “you are such a baby” I replied “Well you’re a bitch… leave me alone” That was 8 months ago. I haven’t talked to her since.
I started dating my boyfriend mid 2025 and just found out that I am pregnant with our first baby together. I am beyond excited and nervous at the same time haha. Anyways I told my mom this last week that I was expecting. But I told her not to inform R because I am not going to share my joy with her. My mom says I’m over reacting and should be the “Bigger person because she’s your sister and she deserves to know.” I told my mom no and now she is upset with me. She feels I’m overreacting a kinda being an AH because I don’t want to tell my sister about this. I just want this amazing thing to be mine and not have her ruin it with her nasty attitude. But now I’m wondering if I am being the AH for not telling her. And I honestly don’t know what to do. I want to tell my oldest sister but I know if I tell her she will tell R. Even if I ask her not to.
So AITAH for not wanting to include my sister in my pregnancy journey?