Drawing with insecurities
For some context, last year I went through a huge mental hiatus. Dark times. I pulled myself out a bit but I feel like it’s coming back slowly.
So. My boyfriend hosted an art competition under his friends and he invited me to join. His friends are way more talented artists than I am. Who we drew? Metro game characters! Sounds like a great idea and in general really is. I never played the metro games and I’ve never seen anything of them either. My boyfriend gave me a character, Cournel Miller, to draw and so I did. The thing is that my art style is what people will call a “Manga” or “Anime” style. I usually draw teenagers or adults in their 20s (or aliens) so I had no idea how to draw a VERY masculine character who was also old(er). Thing is that I started the drawing in art block so the pose might seem a bit off. I pulled through though and was pretty satisfied with the results! Today though my boyfriend showed me the drawing of one of the other competitors and it’s really good. Better than mine which ready made me a bit insecure. My boyfriend told me to send him my drawing which I was now very nervous about! (The pose was the character standing a bit to the side and staring at the viewer angrily) He laughed a bit and told me how it looks weird, how it looks like the character has no arms, how the skin color was wrong and just in general that it looks off. Maybe it is just me but it made me incredibly insecure again.
I tried to fix the drawing but just proceeded to delete it. I hate how it looks and these kinda things make me want to stop drawing forever.
I’m aware this sounds dramatic but I was really proud of the drawing since 1 It was my first time drawing an older character and 2 I know NOTHING about the metro games or cournel miller. The competition ends on the 12th of may at 3am my time but I don’t have the time to completely redo the drawing.
I had to push this out somewhere, thank you for listening/reading if you did.
Absolutely no hate towards anyone involved!!!!