Triangulation? Multiple relationships ruined?
I’m going to try to be concise. Been with boyfriend for 10yrs, become close friends with his male best friend for about 7yrs. The male best friend entered into newer relationship, really wanted us to get along with his girl. Her and I start hanging out, few times a month. I’m given compliments and told she always wanted a friend like me.
We both enjoy research and debate. We get into a debate over health. I try to have a general convo while she makes the conversation about me and her opinions on my lifestyle. (Which I’m fine with and unfortunately engage in) this leads to me calling out what she’s doing in a very direct and uncomfortable way(for her). She end the text conversation saying I was attacking her and she was right and I just need to know I’m wrong. This is where things get wild? The next day the male best friend reaches out to my boyfriend they need to talk. They talk and my boyfriend was blind sided bc he had no idea what was going on but was left feeling they agreed their girls needed to talk to resolve this. However, the next morning boyfriend is at work, I wake up to a text from her demanding an apology saying along the lines “I don’t know if you realize this but you are xyz… blah blah” includes many screen shots, says I need to review my screen shorted behavior and immediate apologize or we cannot be friends anymore.
A lot happens here- I don’t apologize bc I don’t think it’s the right thing to do. I express the need for an in person conversation bc I’m confused.
I tell her I’m trying to understand and she ends with this is the consequences of my actions and blocks me.
The male best friend just vents about how wrong I am when I try to reach out. I remove him due to the intensity he was hitting me with. Within the week he texts my boyfriend asking what he thinks of the situation. Boyfriend is working but says he doesn’t know what happened and will review everything.
He reviews everything, texts him they should meet up (late at night). Boyfriend wakes up to best friend removed him from every single social media platform without a word or conversation.
They proceed to vent to entire friend group about situation, including screen shots of me being uncomfortably direct about calling her out during the “debate”.
It’s bee two years. The best friend ghosted boyfriend without conversation.
I’ve never talked to anyone in person about this. My boyfriends best friend and I never had issues a could always have deep convos and go to each other for advice. I had no problem modifying our relationship if needed, however this was allEXTREMLY abrupt with no communication. A ton of third party bullshit.
I’m left feeling confused and lead on.
Is this a classic example of triangulation ?
Also. The best friend and his girl still talk with my boyfriend’s younger brother. His younger brother has heard it all. Recently talked to me about it. He doesn’t even realize they strawmanned my entire position to where it’s hard to even talk to the brother about it due to his one sided understanding. (The brother is still chill and accepting- I just feel it’s too much to explain to had him truly understand bc I would have to show screen shots which I think is ridiculous)
This is a lot. Sorry if it’s confusing an not as concise, seems like a lot for no reason 😪