My mom [46F] hates my bf [21M] for really no fucking reason, sure when I [20F] get irritated with him I talk to my mom just to vent it out so it doesn’t snowball because I’d rather say what I wanna say and apologize later rather than bottle it up and lose my shit one day like breaking all the furniture in the house and the pictures on the walls. Btw I’ve never done any of that, but my mom has I grew up with it and I’m TERRIFIED the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree. My mom and my bf have had their issues and their spouts but she HATES him, she has NO reason to and I’ll tell you the reason why she hates him, she only hates him when she’s with her boyfriend. They have been together on and off since 2021 and he has single handedly ruined her, she was already messed up because of previous relationships after she spiraled out of control and disappeared out of my life when I was 10 all the way til 16. Anyways this dude has been a constant issue, he’s been abusive towards her but since he’s never technically “hit” her my mom thinks he’s god sent or some shit. This mf literally threw lug nuts in our direction and shattered the window of my car while we were walking up the driveway and threatened to kill himself, the dog, and my cat if he heard any police sirens. We still called the cops and I have ALL of this on recording, my boyfriend was my savior during that time because we were broken up (because of my mom) and he still fought to let me stay with him at his sisters house until we got on our feet. My bf has been there for me every step of the way even when it got dumb as fuck and insane. Meanwhile my mom’s bf neglects her, doesn’t do anything for her except drive her places and last month she left him AGAIN and just recently decided to move back because they had a talk and compromised once again. I genuinely don’t know what to do or how to feel but now I’m hearing shit about how she prays everyday that my bf and I don’t ever have children together and that my boyfriends a piece of shit and all this other shit.. it genuinely pisses me off because she plays nice in our faces and talks shit when we’re not around and personally I don’t feel like being around someone that doesn’t like the person I’m with idgaf if she’s my mother. She hasn’t been there for me in years and when she “was” it was all under the control of her boyfriend, never her. I can’t ever talk to her about any of this shit because she’ll just throw everything he boyfriend has done for me in my face.. OKAY AND? The reason why he did most of those “amazing” things is because he got violent the night before and thinks that buying me a stranger things magazine and flashlight is going to make me magically like him. After he threatened to kill my cat in 2024 I’ve hated him since. there is NOTHING either one of them can say to make me feel any different. What am I supposed to do now? Do I stop talking to her completely again and lose my mom once again for however long or do I just accept how she is and bite my tongue every time he’s around?
Thank you for listening to my vent.
u/GladInjury7687
I [F20] have had issues with my mom [F45] since I was 10 years old and it’s been because of the same thing. MEN, she always chooses the worst men ever, she just recently got out of her 5th relationship a month ago and came back him after I got a place set up and ready for her to come too so she wouldn’t struggle.. but now she’s wanting to give him another chance mind you this dudes an ex addict, he’s threatened to shoot my cat, he threw lug nuts at our direction and broke my cars window, cheated on my mom and WORST OF ALL neglects her physical health. She’s been on and off with this dude since 2021 when I came home the 2nd time after going no contact with her bc of these horrible guys and situations she puts herself in. She’s moving back in with him and is giving him another chance to prove himself and to me THAT IS FUCKING STUPID. I am genuinely at a loss now she’s asking ChatGPT if it’s a good idea and ofc ChatGPT is telling her “yes” and shit acting like they know the whole story. I’m just so over it and so fucking angry. I’m so done with her bullshit.