u/Glad-Watercress-7775

Context, had my ex's name done when my brain was under-developed. Then, a year later decide my best choice was to cover it up in the basement of some randoms house. Not a great decade of my life for choices.

Now here I am. 40, and wanting an actual meaningful tattoo. I'd love to have this wrist area and even forearm if need be, be a memorial tattoo for my soul-cat that passed. This specific arm was the one he was always snuggled up in, with his paws holding onto me. (Yes kinda corny, but I am a cat person what can I say) Shared 12 years with my sweet boy. His name was Dax, he was my beautiful manx void, and I want to have this be a very beautiful tattoo with greenery and whatever can cover this.

Any ideas of what I could possibly turn this into? Does it need to be fully blacked out (PROFESSIONALLY THIS TIME) or do I have a chance at a classy/sweet looking piece.

Any advice or tips or literally anything would be so appreciated.

Thank you ♡

On May 2nd, I woke up to my cat panting and howling in pain.
It was the most traumatizing thing I have ever seen and/or heard.
He was normal even the night before. Turns out he had sudden heart failure.
From start of howling to the moment he was euthanized, it was 1 hour.
One. Hour.
My husband is the one that took him to the vet, as I have 2 children that we could not bring and I basically told him to run the cat to the car and drive to the emergency vet that was literally only 4 minutes away.

I never got to say goodbye.. and that pain still hurts. He gave my sweet boy a kiss on the nose for me. I feel like he would have known just because I wasn't there, didn't negate the 12 wonderful years of hourly love I gave him. He didn't understand this was goodbye.

I have been on the internet, purchasing items for memorial reasons. A necklace with a small black heart to put some of his ashes when we get them back.
I got photos printed.
I sleep with his bed beside me.
I sleep with his favorite blanket beside me. I even sit with it.
I did the laundry and the last thing I had washed was his bed, so there was a ton of fur. I saved it, and also purchased one of those lockets that you can hold things in.

I am going insane. I know this all sounds crazy. I literally see it. I cannot help it.
I cry every single night. I break down during the day.

My routine is not the same. I don't care about leaving things on the floor or leaving doors open a moment too long. It doesn't even matter anymore.
The big bay window is empty without his bed and him. I used to have delivery drivers ask if they could take a picture because it was just the sweetest setup.

My beautiful black manx void. My Dax. I miss and love him so much.

12 years. 12 entire years of love, routine, morning treat times, zoomies... all gone. In a moment.

I hope if anyone else is going through this, you grieve the way you need to.
Don't let anyone make you feel crazy.
This is a family member. Not a household item.

My heart is just so empty. The world keeps spinning, and I feel like it shouldn't. 💔

Need help/advice for covering this mess

I lost my soul cat 8 days ago. It still hurts.