u/GimmeBackMyForeskin

My last post went thru an extremely emotionally significant moment between me and my grandfather, which was very well received by this community. I don't regret sharing for one minute, if it means helping anyone else who's struggling, even just a little bit.

Unfortunately, the post caught the attention of some really negative, hateful people and got cross posted into some bully/hate subreddit groups. I did myself the disservice of looking into what could've made the share count on that post quadruple days after it was posted, and found a lot of hateful people saying a lot of terrible things about me, us, this practice of healing...

I let it get to me for probably 15 solid minutes, long enough to step out for some fresh air and some not fresh air 🌿 Then I realized, these couple dozen asshats are the kind of bullies you see making a fool of themselves in public, raging like entitled children.

You read my post history and I talk about amazing healing, mental health progression, how amazing my sex life with my wife is. These bitter, fragile men (who I can promise get laid way less than me, and have likely never made a woman cum in their lives) have nothing better to do, than latch onto something unfamiliar to them, that is making someone happy, and try to ruin it for them, until no one is happy. Misery loves it's company, and being targeted by miserable people, just means I must be doing something right 🙃

Had a great laugh about it with the wife, then headed to the bedroom to make use of all this new foreskin 😉

Minor hiccup, but these haters can't get me down! Nothing to do now but keep my head up and KOT 💪

Still kind of shaking, processing everything, and it's taken me a couple hours to write this... Just wanted to save this memory in writing while everything is fresh.

I saw my paternal grandparents today for the first time in over a year (I've been restoring for one year now). They're mid / early 80s, and I trust them wholeheartedly. They are just fantastic people, and probably the only family members I still have a genuine relationship with.

We (Grandma, grandpa, wife and myself) were chatting about family, politics, etc, just catching up. I found a clever place to bring up the topic of circumcision, how I was against it being imposed on infants, Intactivism, etc. To my complete surprise, my grandpa mentioned that he was never circumcised! 😵 Both of his brothers had been and he was the middle child of all things... The only rationale he'd ever heard was that he didn't have much skin, so they didn't "need" to.

I shared a bit about my restoration, that I was circumcised and had grief and trauma surrounding it, that I was one year in to a potentially decade(s) long process to regain what was so thoughtlessly discarded in minutes... Everything was PG because my grandma was sitting there with us, and eventually the topic shifted, but my adrenaline was through the roof.

I was eventually able to get some time with my grandpa alone while my wife was talking to my grandma, and asked if he would compare penises with me. I told him I had never seen an uncircumcised penis in person, and the fact that he was my paternal grandfather meant that his hardware was probably as close to what I was supposed to have that I could ever know about.

I knew my dad was cut, but I asked to confirm. He said yeah, he thinks my dad and my uncles all were. Now, I don't hold this against my grandparents, and I think his uncertainty is even more telling of the climate of the times. My grandma was a nurse in a catholic household having boys in the 60s in the US. Statistically speaking, I would have been even more shocked to hear if my dad and uncles weren't cut, than I was when hearing my grandpa wasn't.

I pulled my pants down, and his immediate reaction was very encouraging. I began to describe the changes I'm seeing, where I'm at vs my goals, and he had nothing but encouraging things to say about my effort so far.

He shared next, and yes, he was intact. He is in his 80s, so his skin was expectedly saggy. His scrotum, shaft and foreskin were all kinda folded and bunched together, hard to differentiate from one another. He pulled back his foreskin and revealed very shiny glans with a similar shape to my own, but with a unexpected yellow hue.

I asked about his frenulum, and he didn't even know what that was, so I showed where mine was supposed to be. We looked at the underside of his glans, and to my biggest shock yet, there really just wasn't much of anything there. I pulled Google up my phone and showed him what I was used to seeing when I thought of a frenulum. I told him how it's supposed to be the most sensitive area of the penis, and that I was holding anger around having been robbed of that pleasure, and that it was something that wasn't likely to return with restoration.

Before today, I was always under the impression that my frenulum had basically been carved out by the doc who mutilated me. It's been my biggest mental health struggle with restoration. Stay committed and coverage will work itself out, right? I know myself, I know my dedication, I'll get there. That isn't the story with my frenulum, nor my rigid band, and that gets me down a lot.

Seeing that my grandpa had basically no frenulum to speak of, as someone who was never circumcised, gave me this overwhelming sense of relief. He mentioned that his skin gets tight when he has an erection, and I asked if he had phimosis (which he also had never heard of), but my wife and grandma joined us before I could get clarification. He could have meant phimosis, but I think there is a possibility he could have meant tight foreskin, like someone at a very low CI would experience (since he had mentioned the reason he thought he was left intact was because he didn't have much foreskin to begin with).

I'm definitely going to have more conversations with him in the future, with privacy and without interruptions, but I'm already so mindblown at everything I've learned today, I'm trying to take it one step at a time. I can't pinpoint what actually changed, but everything feels different now.