Heightened dysphoria after 3.5 years
Probably just a steam of consciousness but here it is… Over the past few months dysphoria has really ramped up. I had my trachea shave done a couple months ago and fully recovered but even though it’s not there I still see it. FFS pre-auth came in the mail last Friday and am beside myself with having to wait now for the event. Before receiving it, it was a “someday thing” and now it’s real and can’t wait. Dysphoria sit on my shoulder and persistently tells me negative things about my body, face, presentation. Although I fully know who I am, the path to internal acceptance of who I am was really rough. Now I just want to outside to match my inside and the waiting is even harder now than when I was 6 months out. I had so many questions about my life that I think it distracted the dysphoria. Now that I have clarity, it is hard. 🤞FFS in Sept/Oct. 2nd bottom consult in June… hopefully can schedule in 2027. The waiting is just sooo hard. Hope you girlies are surviving… 🤗 hugs.
Edit: …and men and NB friends 🤗