Broken and hollow. Now I feel like a shell of what I once was.
Hello everyone. I feel completely broken and lonely. I'm sad that I'm resorting to writing this now.
I (31 M) met a girl(30 F) last year through insta.Both of us live in Karnataka due to work. I had updated my matrimony bio and she reached out to me through insta. She wasn't exactly my "type" or that's what I thought initially. But we hit it off pretty well right from our initial chats. We quickly started calling each other and within no time I had fallen for her. Deep.
If you see my previous post you would know that there were initial hiccups from her family side. They were religious and believed in astrology and shit. Despite knowing there might not be a chance with her, I decided to ask her out, on a date, to finally meet. It was magical. Took her on a concert of Agam band, and we later went to watch the rerelease of Ravana Prabhu. Neither of us were shy, we danced and laughed. Within 3 weeks we felt inseparable.
After 3 months of hide and seek from our parents we finally presented our case to our parents. My parents were cool and happy. Obviously her parents were mad. But eventually we somehow pulled it off. Pennukaanal went like a dream. Smooth like butter. I was finally happy. Genuinely happy man. Happiness was rare for me.
Due to communication gap between our families, later our "veedukanal and orappikkal" got cancelled. We tried our best to fix everything but couldn't. When the dust settled, I visited her to speak with her for the last time. We both cried out eyes out and couldn't. We continued seeing each other for 3 more months. We thought if we tried after sometime our families would try to understand our pain. But I guess from both sides their egos got hurt. It would create problems in the future as well. This time we both knew this was final. And so we parted our ways. The sad part is that it was mutual. I can't even hate her.
From almost seeing each other everyday to not even hearing her laugh. I miss her badly man. I miss everything about her. Even while typing this I only have tears in my eyes. It's been more than a month now. I am genuinely trying to forget her and move on. But suffering is a bitch. It keeps haunting me. I know that that one day could have changed everything. Regret is eating me from the inside. I feel dead inside. I'm sorry for the long rant/confession.
She will never be on this app. She will never know about this. I only wish her happiness.
Sorry for the long post again. Tc everyone!