u/GigGremlin

Mid morning today I get a Walgreens shop & deliver.
$17.89 for 7 miles.

Yeah… I hit accept so fast my phone almost threw itself out the window.
On the way over I check the list…
$50 Amazon gift card and a birthday card.
Cool. Easy.

Before I even get to the store, customer messages me:
“this is a surprise so please don’t knock or ring the doorbell
leave it on the hood of the white Tahoe in the driveway”

I just kinda laughed… like alright, we doing side quests now.
Hit ‘em back:
“ok I got you 🥷”

Get to Walgreens, grab the gift card no problem.
Then I hit the birthday card aisle…
and immediately realize I’m not just grabbing a card.
I’m hunting the card.
Full blown scavenger hunt.
Standing there flipping through card after card like… nope… nope… definitely not that one… who is this even for??
You ever read that many birthday cards in a row and start questioning reality a little bit? 😑
Finally find it buried halfway down like it was hiding on purpose.
Grab it and get out before I get emotionally attached to cardboard.

Head to the drop.
Pull up and it’s a wooded lot, quiet, no movement.
One of those “don’t screw this up” situations.
Parked in the street by the house next door. Didn’t even pull in.
Grabbed the bag and walked it up along the tree line like I was avoiding detection.
Halfway up I’m thinking…
if someone looks out right now I 100% look like I’m up to something
Too late now.
Hit the “map pin is wrong” option so I could start the delivery early.
Phone already in my hand.
Slide the bag under the wiper on the Tahoe, snap the pic, keep moving.
Didn’t stop, didn’t look back, nothing.
Back down the driveway, back to the car, gone.

Order done. Surprise still intact.

I swear these random little missions make the day way more fun.
One minute it’s just another order… next minute you’re out here doing stealth birthday ops like it actually matters 😂
Anybody else get these and immediately go into full ninja mode or just me? 🥷

Every shopping order is either this… or chaos.

There’s the Vanishing Act.

They place the order… and disappear into another dimension.

No responses. No guidance. No signal.

You hit your first out-of-stock item and now it’s just you… standing in the aisle… holding two replacement options like you’re on a game show with no host.

So now you’re making executive decisions like it’s your kitchen.

“Yeah… they probably want the family size.”

“Organic? Sure. Feels like their vibe.”

You finish the order, check out, and suddenly…

ding

“oh that works 🙂”

Oh NOW we’re alive.

Then there’s the Co-Shopper.

The second you hit “start shopping,” they’re right there with you… spiritually pushing the cart.

You scan one item…

ding

“can you grab this too?”

Walk three steps…

ding

“actually can we swap that?”

Turn down another aisle…

ding ding

“oh and add this”

At this point it feels like we’re doing the order together.

I’m just the one wearing the uniform.

No in-between. No balance. No warning.

Just two completely different types of customers…

that stress me out for two completely different reasons.

It’s only lunch rush and today already feels… 🌕

First stop, McDonald’s. I’m waiting on an order they didn’t know existed until I walked in (as tradition). Guy at the counter is going to war over a $0.20 drink upcharge. Not even joking. Back and forth, gets louder, now he wants a manager.

While this is happening, dude basically starts a movement. Other customers check their receipts and now THEY’RE mad about $0.20–$0.40 drink upcharges too. Manager finally shows up and just starts handing out change like we’re in a refund parade.

Next order, Bojangles.

Different customer, same energy. Loud, heated, whole production. Says the order is wrong… turns out it’s exactly what he ordered. Manager steps in, shuts it down instantly like “we’re not doing this today,” fixes it, sends him on his way.

I’m just standing there holding a bag like 👁️👄👁️

Tell me I’m not the only one… what’s the wildest thing y’all have witnessed mid-pickup? 🍿

Anybody else running split shifts out here or am I just built weird?

I’ve tried the whole “stay out all day” thing and it just ain’t it in my area. Feels like you spend half your life sitting in a parking lot watching the app like it owes you money.

What’s been working for me lately is:

Morning run: like 8:30ish → 1 or 2

Go home, reset, handle life (kid, food, house, all that real world stuff)

Back out: 6 → 10/11

Seems like I catch the good waves without burning the whole day chasing scraps.

But that’s just my market. Some days it hits, some days it humbles you real quick.

Curious what the rest of y’all are doing…

You running straight through? Split shifts? Late night vampire hours?

What actually works where you’re at? Or are we all just out here rolling the dice and pretending it’s strategy? 😅

You ever walk into a restaurant and instantly realize…

You are not a person.

You are not a customer.

You are not even a problem.

You are background scenery 🪑

You walk in.

👀 Eye contact is made.

🧍‍♂️ You exist.

And somehow…

you still get ignored like a ghost with a delivery bag.

Employee #1: Sees you… immediately remembers they left something in the back

Employee #2: Suddenly deep in a life-changing conversation about sauces

Employee #3: Hits you with the “I don’t get paid enough for this” thousand-yard stare

Meanwhile you’re just standing there like:

“Hey… I’m literally here to take work OFF your hands…”

And then after 5 minutes…

Someone finally approaches like you summoned them through sheer patience:

“What do you need?”

😐

Oh nothing. Just the order I’ve been waiting on since the Obama administration.

At this point you’ve got two options:

🅰️ Stand there silently and slowly become part of the décor

🅱️ Hit ‘em with the:

“Hey, just checking on a pickup for ___”

…and watch the vibe instantly shift like you just committed a social crime

Let’s be honest…

Half of this job isn’t driving.

It’s figuring out:

“How long do I wait before I stop being polite and start being visible?”

💬 Real question:

How long are YOU waiting before you speak up?

🕐 Immediately

🕒 Give it a minute

🕔 Long enough to question your existence

🏆 Bonus points if you’ve ever been ignored so long you considered:

Clocking in

Making the order yourself

Or just walking behind the counter like “I got it from here”

Welcome to Deliveries After Dark

Where the orders are late,

The eye contact is fake,

And your existence is… pending manager approval.

Be honest…

You saw an order pop up that made ZERO sense…

🚗 14 miles

💰 $6.25

🕒 Rush hour traffic

📦 2 drinks, 1 bag, and a dream

…and you still hit accept.

Don’t lie. We’ve ALL had that moment.

Maybe it was slow.

Maybe you were bored.

Maybe you convinced yourself…

“There’s gotta be a hidden tip…” 🤡

And then…

💀 No tip

💀 Apartment on the 3rd floor

💀 “Hand it to me”

💀 No gate code

That order didn’t just waste your time…

it built character.

So let’s hear it…

👉 What’s the WORST order you knowingly took… and immediately regretted?

No judgment. This is a safe space.

(We’re all a little gremlin sometimes.) 😈

Mid-morning. That weird dead zone where the apps whisper instead of talk.

I get a stacked shop & deliver.

4 miles. $20.

Nothing sexy, but enough to keep the wheels turning.

Accept. Roll in. Grab a cart.

That’s when I see it.

15. Cases. Of. Soda.

The other order?

Just some light grocery nonsense. Innocent. Harmless. A decoy.

Now I pause… but do the mental gymnastics:

“Eh… 1.5 mile drop. Quick porch dump. In and out.”

Famous last words.

I check out. Load up. Car’s looking like a rolling vending machine.

Pull up the delivery notes on the way…

📍 Local college

📍 “Deliver to front door of main admin building”

Alright. No big deal.

…until I get there.

No parking.

Closest spot? About 100 yards out.

Marked “Future Students Only.”

Spoiler: I enrolled that day.

Crate loaded. Arms braced. Pride intact.

I start the trek.

Across the lot.

Up the sidewalk.

Up TWO flights of stairs.

I reach the door.

Big. Heavy. Wooden.

The kind of door that fights back like it pays rent there.

I wrestle it open like I’m in a medieval boss battle.

Inside: receptionist.

She watches.

Not mean. Not rude.

Just… spectating. Like I’m a live performance.

“Conference room, down the hall.”

Cool. Cool cool cool.

Trip 1.

Trip 2.

Trip 3…? I lost count.

Every single time:

Fight the door.

Balance the load.

Don’t drop the soda pyramid.

Try not to question life choices.

Receptionist? Still watching. Front row seat. 🍿

Not asking for help carrying…

…but holding the door ONE time would’ve felt like a blessing from above.

Finally finish.

Sweating. Slightly reborn. Spirit questionable.

Complete the second order.

Then… the moment of truth.

I check the breakdown.

$7.00

For the soda order.

$4 base.

$3 tip.

15 cases.

100-yard haul.

Two flights of stairs.

Door boss fight on repeat.

Seven. Dollars.

I stared at my phone like it personally betrayed me.

To this day…

that customer’s name lives on a sticky note on my dash.

Not out of anger…

…but as a public service announcement to my future self:

“Not today, Satan. Not again.” 😈

No explanations needed.

Just drop the story.

If you’ve ever sat in a Taco Bell line questioning your life choices…

If you’ve ever seen $3 for 12 miles and felt personally disrespected…

If you’ve ever whispered “just one more order” at 9:47 PM…

Yeah. You’re home.

This is the place for the real side of gig work.

Not the highlight reels. Not the “I made $300 in 2 hours” fantasy land.

We’re talking:

The declined stamps of shame 🚫

The drive-thru purgatory ⏳

The no-tip masterpieces 🎨

The “why is this even allowed?” orders 🤨

🧃 What to Post

Bring the chaos. Bring the receipts.

Screenshots of disrespectful orders

Wild customer stories

App glitches, dry spells, and “Sahara mode” shifts

Wins, losses, and absolute trainwreck deliveries

Tips, strategies, or survival tactics from the trenches

If it made you laugh, rage, or question reality… it belongs here.

😈 The Vibe

We keep it real. We keep it funny.

We don’t punch down, but we absolutely roast the nonsense.

This is your place to vent without someone saying

“just be grateful bro.”

Nah. We saw that $4.25 stack too. We understand.

🚗 Get Started

Drop where you’re dashing from

Post your latest “ain’t no way” order

Lurk, laugh, or unload your soul

This isn’t just a subreddit…

It’s group therapy with screenshots.

Welcome to the night shift. 🌙🔥

— u/GigGremlin

Mid-morning.

The dead zone.

You know the one… where the apps are on, your hopes are off, and you’re basically just a highly alert statue waiting for something—anything—to happen.

Then it comes in.

$3.95.

Wendy’s.

1.5 miles.

Not good. Not terrible.

Just… something to do so I’m not bonding emotionally with my steering wheel.

I accept.

I fire off my usual message:

“Hey! I’m your Dasher. If you have any questions, concerns, or dilemmas, feel free to reach out. I’ll keep you updated!”

Customer responds:

“Thank you lovely.”

…

Alright.

That’s… a little extra for a $3.95 Wendy’s order, but hey—maybe they’re just one of those aggressively polite humans. I shrug it off.

I get to Wendy’s.

And like clockwork, the order does not exist.

Not “almost ready.”

Not “bagged up.”

Not even “someone’s thinking about starting it.”

Nope.

Freshly conceptual.

So I message again:

“Still waiting on your order, but I’ll be on the way as soon as it’s ready!”

Customer responds:

“Thank you babe.”

…

Okay.

Now we’ve escalated from “lovely” to “babe.”

At this point I’m sitting there like:

👉 Is this friendliness?

👉 Is this confusion?

👉 Am I accidentally in a relationship I didn’t sign up for?

Finally, the food comes out.

I do the whole ceremonial routine:

Grab bag ✔️

Confirm receipt ✔️

Take photo like it’s a museum artifact ✔️

Load it into the car, start driving.

Then I check the delivery instructions.

“Hand it to me.”

Cool. Normal. Standard. Nothing weird.

…so far.

I pull up.

Front door is open.

Storm door closed.

Ah. The classic “I’ve been tracking your GPS like it’s the Super Bowl” setup.

I grab the order, walk up…

…and as I get close, I hear movement inside.

Something shifts in the shadows.

Then—

She emerges.

Mid to late 40s.

Heavyset.

Wearing… what I can only describe as a strategically optimistic sheer cover.

She steps forward, throws her leg out to prop open the storm door like she’s auditioning for a low-budget romance novel cover…

…and leans back into the doorway.

Pose locked in.

Expression loaded.

Intent… unmistakable.

And in that exact moment, my brain does a full system reboot.

Because I’m standing there holding a Wendy’s bag thinking:

“Ma’am… I just came here with nuggets.”

I go into full delivery autopilot survival mode:

Hand drink → “Here you go.”

Hand food → “Have a great day.”

Eye contact → ABSOLUTELY NOT.

She responds with a soft:

“Oh…”

And I don’t stick around to decode what that means.

I turn.

Walk.

Do not run (but spiritually, I am sprinting).

Get in the car.

Pull off.

Make the corner.

…and then—

I completely lose it.

Full-on, uncontrollable, can’t-breathe laughing.

Like…

What just happened?? 😂

And somewhere between laughing and questioning reality, it hits me:

Did she think I was someone else?

Was there a plan here that… did not go according to script?

Did I fail some kind of unexpected performance test??

And then…

The final dagger.

The cherry on top of this beautifully awkward sundae.

I check the earnings.

$3.95

$0.00 tip

So let me summarize:

Waited at Wendy’s for an order that didn’t exist

Got progressively more interesting messages

Delivered into what felt like the opening scene of a very questionable situation

Escaped with my dignity (barely)

…and got paid exactly $3.95.

I guess…

The tip was the experience. 😈

If you made it this far, I need to know:

👉 Am I the only one who’s accidentally delivered into a completely different genre than expected?