u/Ghadno

I’m so freaking miffed right now. After all the foot dragging, the explanations, and the agreements and arrangements I am trapping on Friday and I have real clear basic instructions for husband and Mother in Law. All food needs to be given at this point in the traps. I got home from a 10 hour work day and I found 3 massive eff off plates of food just left out. Because he saw one of the mama’s and felt bad for her. I came so close to just going fucking ballistic. If he thought she needed some extra food for the love of his give it to her, BUT IN THE TRAP. Please Jesus give me patience. I’ve been treated like some sort of jerk all week and given the cold shoulder because I’m trying to do what’s right and I’m so frustrated I could scream and cry and I think I’m losing my shit. 20 mother loving mature cats, at least 3 litters of new ones so far this season at least. I can not. CAN NOT RIGHT NOW! I love my husband and he’s doing this because he’s tender hearted but PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF CATS MAN THE EFF UP AND HELP ME GET THIS JOB DONE!!!!

So for context in 2024 we did a round of TNR. We caught 14 cats. My husband was very nervous at that time about stressing the cats out, and possible kittens, but I reassured him everything would be Ok. That the cats would recover and be happier. We had to let one female go because she literally just had kittens like the day before trapping day (we tried to find the litter but we could not) and another female and a male never did get caught. After we released the 14, most of them wandered off. Only 3 or 4 stayed around, and my husband is very attached to the cats we see regularly and feed. So them not really hanging around hurt him. A few weeks/months later when we started seeing more kittens come out I started talking about the next round of TNR and he shut it down. He hasn’t been willing to even talk about it. This year I just started getting everything ready on my own without much input from him, but he is very upset now that I’m priming the traps. Problem is, after almost a year and a half we have a very large number of cats again. I count 20 mature cats, and I just saw a litter with 4 kittens. I told him if he won’t let me TNR then I’m going to stop paying for their food and they would be 100% his responsibility but I can not do that. These cats NEED to be trapped. I’ve talked about the benefits, what my plan is exactly for any cats we catch who are nursing, and I’ve even offered to put off trapping the main nursing females I know about right now and focus on the rest. (The TNR’s that stayed are so friendly and sweet now) He’s saying we need to wait until the kittens are all older for any trapping but there will ALWAYS be new kittens! Someone give me some ideas for how to appease him. Or reassure him? Idk