When times get tough, sometimes you need to call in some help. And in recent years, it's been necessary to explore resources to help with sexual wellness, from E.D treatments to therapy and more. While age, biology, psychology, and other factors can make it difficult to sustain a good sex life. What have you found to be effective or not in the search for help?
One of the hardest things for my wife and I to get good at has been checking in on each other in the heat of the moment during sex. It can be awkward to express dissatisfaction or discomfort, or even what we want, especially if it's new or out of our normal routine.
What has your experience been with navigating that process of checking in with your significant other? (Even if it's little to none)
So many times in this and other formats, people discuss the exciting realm of fantasy and how they navigate the boundaries of marriage within the church. While I am a huge fan of sharing fantasies with my spouse (and others, honestly) I also have recently gained a deeper appreciation for the concept of making a great love life right here in reality. I have been caught up plenty of times in chasing the thrill of exploring new fantasy, and that sometimes creates a deficit in the energy I put into the present moment. I'm learning how to show appreciation for my wife and her body, and to focus on physical sensation when it matters most. This has been very helpful in strengthening certain aspects of our relationship that had started to weaken, and it's quickly becoming the theme of our exploration together.
For context, we're in our late 30's, and have been married about 16 years. I'm curious if you have been in a similar place with your spouse, and what that has looked like for you?
I'm an open book about most things in life. If there is anything you want to know about me or my opinion on something, ask away! I'd love to get to know everyone better, and vice versa.
For any that have been following the plans for the couples retreat scheduled in October, we have decided to officially change directions. We still want to plan a retreat, but it will be much smaller scale and much more open to suggestions for locations. We are hoping to get 2-3 couples together, and once the group is finalized, we want to collectively agree on where will work. While we don't want to be exclusionary, we also want to avoid crazy people, so it can't be totally wide open. Here are the general things we're looking for:
People who live within the range of Utah County to Cache County
Age between 30-45 (roughly)
Non-smokers
Open to intellectual conversations around intimacy, but good at communicating clear boundaries in the matter
NOT looking for a hookup or to cheat on a spouse/ partner
We are keeping this flexible, especially in the early stages, so we can accommodate those who would like to attend. If interested, please reach out via DM, and we can discuss further. My wife and I would like to get to know any potential attendees ahead of time, so we're not total strangers on day one.
Preface: I know this isn't directly intimacy related, but it's been a topic of discussion that has come along with other moral quandries as we have navigated where our faith sits and how we deal with guilt and personal struggles.
My wife and I both have tattoos. Not a ton, but we are scheduled to get a couple more. In light of that, I went down a bit of a rabbit hole in regards to tattoos and the churches stance on them. There has been council since probably the 50s or 60s (I didn't really look into it) that tattoos are a desecration of our temples, and no further caveat has really been provided, other than a few mentions that God cares less about our physical appearance than what the intent of our heart is.
Having worked in the offices where the actual temples are designed, I know how much time and intent goes in to planning the artwork that goes into the temple. I would be shocked beyond words if I ever walked in to the temple and saw a picture of Calvin and Hobbs, or a half-naked pin up model, because those aren't what the temple represents. Everything from the pictures on the wall to the patterns in the carpet is intentional, because the building serves a very specific purpose, and the design is crafted to reflect that purpose.
Many dissertations from leaders of the church have equated tattoos to vandalizing the temple with graffiti. While the visualization clearly makes a decent person cringe, I personally hold a belief that it's possible to redefine that parable. The tattoos I have are carefully planned, have a specific meaning, and bring me closer to the things I value most. Like the meticulous planning of the temple esthetic, I have planned, designed, edited, and implemented the art, utilizing the skills of practiced artists to ensure the best outcome.
If I were to commission the best tattoo artist in the world to create a large piece to cover my chest with the image of Christ leaving the tomb following his resurrection, it would be considered by many to be sinful and shortsighted, regardless of what went into it, or the spirit of the process. Do you think there is any room for body art like tattoos or piercings in the process of worship? Or will it always be a defacement of our spirit's temple?
My wife recently gifted me the most amazing sex toy I've ever used. And, while we still have some growing to do in our intimacy journey, it was very meaningful. Some couples gift more experientially, and others more traditionally, but what are your favorite things or experiences to gift your significant other?
