u/Gerkie123 — reddlx

From Being Bullied My Whole Life to Finally Finding a Real Best Friend

I (M24) met my friend (M25) about 3 years ago, and honestly at first I thought he was kind of an asshole. Funny enough, I’m pretty sure he thought the same about me.

But over time he became one of the closest people in my life. Growing up I was bullied a lot and never really had that “best friend” type of connection with anyone. I always felt like the extra friend people just tolerated being around.

When we met, I was overweight, insecure, and honestly not in a great place mentally or physically. Instead of treating me like a lost cause, he pushed me to become better. He got me out socially, introduced me to clubbing and new experiences, while I got him into hiking and outdoor stuff. We constantly challenge each other to grow, and because of that I became more active, lost weight, and gained confidence I never really had before.

We’ve also been there for each other during some really rough nights mentally. Last year we had a misunderstanding during one of those periods, but we talked it through and came out stronger.

The thing is, I’m terrible at talking about feelings. I usually show I care through actions instead of words. But lately I’ve realized this is probably the first real brother-type friendship I’ve ever had, and I honestly don’t think he realizes how much he changed my life for the better.

How do you tell your bro you appreciate him without making it awkward?

I have a friend (M25) and myself (M24). We met around 3 years ago, and honestly, if you told me back then that this guy would become one of the most important people in my life, I probably would’ve laughed.

You know how people always talk about instantly clicking with someone and just knowing they’ll be a lifelong friend? That absolutely was not us. At first I genuinely thought he was kind of an asshole. We got along enough, but I never expected much beyond that. Funny enough, he probably thought the same about me.

But over time, something changed. The more we hung out, the more I realized how solid of a person he actually is. Somewhere between random late-night conversations, stupid jokes, gym sessions, hikes, nights out, and helping each other through rough patches, this guy slowly became family to me.

To be honest, I’ve struggled most of my life with friendships and confidence. I was bullied for years growing up, and because of that I always kind of saw myself as the “backup friend” or the person people tolerated instead of genuinely wanting around. I never really had that close friendship people talk about where someone fully accepts you and sticks by you.

When I met him, I was overweight, insecure, socially awkward, and honestly not in a great place mentally or physically. A lot of people in my life treated me like I was a lost cause or just accepted that this was who I was going to be forever. But he didn’t.

Instead of judging me, he pushed me. He introduced me to clubbing and getting out socially instead of hiding away all the time. On the other side, I introduced him to hiking and outdoor stuff. We started challenging each other constantly, and that became a huge part of our friendship. He motivated me to become more active, get healthier, lose weight, and honestly just start living life instead of sitting on the sidelines watching everyone else live theirs.

And the thing is, he probably doesn’t even fully realize how much that changed me.

We’ve been there for each other through some genuinely difficult nights mentally too. There were times where one of us was struggling and the other would stay up talking just to make sure things were okay. Last year we had a misunderstanding during one of those rough periods, and for a while I thought maybe the friendship had changed permanently. But instead of letting pride ruin things, we actually talked it through honestly and came out stronger because of it.

He and his girlfriend have both become incredibly important people in my life. And Matt, if you somehow read this, brother… propose already. She’s been hinting long enough.

The problem is that I’m terrible at expressing emotions directly. I show I care through actions, small gestures, checking in, remembering things, or just showing up when it matters. Saying emotional stuff out loud has always felt awkward to me.

But lately I’ve realized how important this friendship really is to me. This is probably the first genuine brother-type friendship I’ve ever had in my life, and I honestly don’t think he fully understands how much he helped me become a better version of myself.

I want to tell him that I appreciate him and that he genuinely changed my life for the better, but every time I think about saying it out loud it feels awkward as hell.

I feel like guys don’t really talk about this stuff enough. We’ll support each other through everything, but somehow saying “you mean a lot to me, man” feels harder than it should.

So I guess my question is: how do you tell your bro you appreciate him without making it weird?