[coming out] how do i come out to my parents, and should i if she probably already knows?
i (16NB) am aroace and some flavor of nonbinary and/or agender (i use they/them but no label really fits perfectly so i use nonbinary as an umbrella term). i’m pretty sure that my mom knows about the aroace because i’ve been saying for a while that i’m not interested in dating anyone of any gender.
stepmother is the religious homophobic type and dad basically goes along with whatever she says. she’s only devout when it’s convenient tho. i am openly and proudly agnostic pagan, so she already hates that lol.
my older sister is the first person i came out to; my younger sibling are too young to understand and two have also been raised in a casually homophobic household.
i was a very tomboyish kid growing up, but still liked dresses and skirts and stuff like that. i thought i was trans for a while, and started despising “girly” things. i’ve recently realized that dresses are much more comfy as both formal and casual wear. i love getting my nails done, but usually in black and dark colors. makeup is still a big no-go tho but only because i hate how it feels on my skin.
stepmother is convinced that i’m going to magically become a girly-girl housewife type person because i said that i wanted more sundresses for casual wear one time recently.
i want to start coming out to close friends and family because while i don’t mind the incorrect pronouns, the gender stereotypes get annoying. i’m about 83% sure that mom mostly knows, but i want to come out officially just so i can say i did and to show that i trust her.
i’ve heard that you should sit them down and talk with them carefully and thoroughly to avoid misunderstandings and miscommunications, but neither of us are the type for serious conversation unless it’s like serious as in “the dog is being put down” or “grandpa is in the hospital” type of serious.
should i just say it outright and answer questions as we go, or plan it out, or what? should i come out as aroace and nonbinary at the same time or separately?
as a side note, i am a very soft spoken and non confrontational person and hate taking charge unless absolutely necessary. i’ll answer any questions if asked, but i prefer questions over compiling the answers beforehand.