I think I may have OCD and it’s ruining my life
I’m currently 18 years old, and I’ve had intrusive thoughts since I was about 8 (unsure exactly what age). They were always sexual intrusive thoughts and I never understood why, since I’m quite sure anything like that ever happened to me as a child and I don’t remember being exposed to sexual things. Now for a while I had them under control, I didn’t think much of them. But recently years, they’ve came back and they’re really distressing to me. I’m really struggling with POCD recently, and I hate it because I don’t know how to control it. I stay ruminating on things for ages to the point where I don’t feel very well, and it genuinely makes me want to physically harm myself because I feel like such a disgusting person. What’s worse, is that I can hardly talk to anybody about it because of its bizarre nature. I really don’t know what to do with myself and I think I need help but I don’t know where to get that, if there was medication that would stop intrusive thoughts I’d take it in a heart beat because they’re ruining my mental health. I don’t want to think this way anymore. Furthermore, sometimes I’ll be laying in bed and my brain won’t turn off, it’ll be like “have you locked the bathroom door?” “Is the toilet seat still up?” “You haven’t brushed your teeth so they’re going to fall out because of all the sugar you’ve ate” “*insert horrible sexual image*” and it genuinely makes me worried to sleep because I’ve had intrusive dreams before too. what do I do ?????