I (23F) started working at a high school in January this year.
The kids had already been through 3 teachers this year alone. I am a new teacher, like I am still working to get my teaching certification and are under a provisional license new. I am fairly young and have a teenage sister so I can relate a lot with the kids.
I teach mainly 10th graders with the occasional other grades sprinkled in. My classes tend to have a much lighter tone, and we love to joke around. I rarely write kids up (unless they did something very wrong, or it’s an incident that needs to be reported). I instead like to communicate directly with the kids and parents before writing up so they have a chance to fix their behavior.
Well a lot of the kids I teach come from really rough home lives, broken homes, parents do care, rough families. They don’t care about grades, on truancy, or on probation. I am pretty lenient with grading and will help accommodate students, if they just ask.
I have gotten attitude and had to talk to a few kids direct about attitudes and we now have a great relationship as student and teacher. A lot of it does stem from the fact, that in the first month, I was still learning and the students were feeling me out to see what type of teacher I would be.
My 7th period is by far my worst class, not in terms of attitudes, but in terms of pushing boundaries. I have one student (16M), Al for the sake of this post, in that class particularly, that has behavioral issues. He’s not rude, or anything just has a mouth. He’s constantly in ISS (in school suspension), has a smart mouth, doesn’t care about grades. The thing is, he’s very smart. I just think he comes from a home life, where his parents aren’t as present, or able to be, or not a lot of emphasis put on grades.
Well he acts out a lot, very loud, boisterous, definitely in need of attention. Well needless to say he’s failing my class. He’s not the only one, just the one most vocal about it. I would just like to add, you cannot ignore this kid, it’s literally impossible.
Well he asked one day in class, if he could have an assignment that would knock out a lot of his missing assignments. I said no, but he kept bugging me. I finally relented and gave him an essay, with a strict deadline of 2 days. It was a long essay over all the content we had covered for that semester. Jokingly, I called it Al’s special assignment. He ended up not doing it, and kept asking to do it. I said no and still say no.
I will also add that I have given special assignments in my other classes to help their grades bc they were failing.
Well apparently it rubbed two of my kids (both 16M) the wrong way. They had made a snide comment before, because apparently I didn’t update their grade on a late assignment fast enough. They said “if it was Al I bet you would have done it right away.” It really pissed me off. It wasn’t true at all, I checked their grade they needed updated, it was one assignment, that brought their grade up a measly 1 point. I got onto them, and explained to them (rather brought it to their attention) all the times Ive accommodated them (ie let them turn in work 3 weeks later, allowed them to redo assignments, etc.) I thought that was it.
Well fast forward to last Friday, they had a practice quiz to prepare for their end of the year test. It took me a good 5 minutes to get the class settled down and ready to take the quiz. Well as they open the quiz, Al started being overdramatic, ‘I don’t know this, give me the answers’ just being funny. Other students kept doing the same thing as well, they eventually settled down, and were taking the quiz. Well as I was telling Al to shut up and take his quiz, the two boys said “well there she goes flirting again.” It made me feel angry, upset, uncomfortable, and just sad.
Well I waited until after class to talk to them, and asked what their problem is with me. They played it off and acted like they didn’t say anything.
The conversation went as follows:
“Whats your problem with me?”
“I don’t have a problem.”
Then why do you keep making inappropriate and disrespectful comments about me?
“I didn’t say anything.”
“Oh so you didn’t say I was flirting?
“I’m just calling it like I see.
“What do you mean be that?
“You give Al things that you don’t give us.
“What do you mean by that? What have I gave him that I didn’t give you?
“Well there was a time I was failing, and you gave Al a special assignment.”
“Because he asked. Did you ask? Do you want a special assignment? You could’ve asked for one.”
“Nah I’m good, I’m passing.”
“Then whats the problem.”
“I don’t have a problem.”
“Then are you just disrespectful to all your teachers?”
No comment
“Well what I’m gonna do is email your parents and write you up.
“I don’t care.”
‘End convo’
I don’t know why it bothered me so much, and still aggravates me. I’m on my period and I did cry after and my coworkers assured me I did nothing wrong. Even though I have contacted their parents and wrote them up, it still bothers me. I just don’t know what to think or feel
Edit to clarify some things:
I do admit the calling “Al’s special assignment” was wrong. I do want to clarify, all of my students do have equal opportunity to all extra credit. My school also has this policy that if so many kids are failing you’ll get in trouble. No matter what there work ethic is.
A lot of the problems I struggle with stem from the fact that I’m their third teacher this year, and I have no experience. I do realize that, and there are many things I do plan to do better next year.
The reason I’m so lax with the writing up, is it doesn’t matter the behavior, they’re automatically suspended. And after so many suspensions they’re sent to alternative school. I promise I don’t think I’m better than anyone.
Also the kids do respect me, it’s honestly just this one class. All the previous teachers who had them had these problems. We joke around in all my classes but when it comes down to businesses they know. I will also add, I am trying to learn and do better. There are things I’m gonna do next year differently.
I also badly put this, I don’t mean I’ll just change someone’s grade if they just ask. I just meant, if you talk to me then I can work with you. Not that I will, but if there is a valid reason.
Edit 2:
Hey guys I really appreciate all of the advice and support. I know what I did wrong and what I can do better and plan to enact it. I’m gonna turn off the replies just because I think everyone is pretty much saying the same thing, and it’s blowing up my phone. So if you reply, I probably won’t see it. I do want to say how much I really appreciate the advice. The plan is to be better next school year.
Edit 3:
I’m probably gonna delete the post, because people keep downvoting me when I just needed advice and are trying to learn.