I'm 19 and I'm close to finishing my first year in Game design. Before I decided to apply to this major I had no idea which way to go after graduating high school. I was studying in a completely different field during my high school years and I thought that since I've been drawing well my whole life and loved playing video games , I'd be cool to major in something related to those two things. When the end of senior year was coming by ,it was finally time for me to choose a university to apply to. My friend didn't know where to go either and we were panicing daily that we won't be able to apply to any of the available universities in our city and how there's barely any art universities in the country.
There was one month left until I had to apply somewhere. (my parents were constantly pressuring me on picking a major just so that I don't take a gap year) . My friend found this university that is almost 6 hours away from home by train and suggested that we start going there. I was a little skeptical at first ,because of the possibility of me being too far away from home, but I decided to give it a shot anyway. I got accepted right away.
And it just so happened that got into a relationship right after. Me and my partner got to spend 4 months together before I had to finally pack my things and go. When it came around to me leaving , I would only repeat to myself how im going to do great, have good flatmates, make friends , enjoy studying this far away from home. Regarding of my partner being on my mind most of the time, I was still doing everything in my power to push through and not cry all of the time and just do what I'm supposed to. A few months passed by until winter break was on the corner. Things got a lot lot lot worse. I had lost a lot of weight, talked to my parents on the phone DAILY how I disliked my major and want to study something else, skipped meals, stopped working out ,because gyms were really expensive and I tried working out outside, but it was really making things worse, didn't want to make friends and stayed in my room every day after leactures.Every time I talked with my partner and family on the phone I would cry for hours after. My relationship with my 4 other roommates wasn't going that well either ,because it felt best for me to not try to become close with them.
I didn't like where this was taking me. My family,friends ,my partner couldn't stop worrying about me and were praying for me to get better. It wasn't affecting me both good mentaly and physically. I decided it'll be best to allow myself to not attend my lectures regarding of the consequences and go back home and do my assignments in my own space. This way I could see my family, eat home-cooked meals, spend time with my partner and look after my physique. I was starting to get happy again.
The weeks where I had to go back to my university I would find myself in the same state I was in the beginning. Talking to my parents and partner on the phone every night and suggesting how I should try to find something else to study in my hometown (even if it isnt art related).
Now it's been almost 2 months since I last went to my university. Up until this point my dad has been telling me on how he's going to cut me off completely if I decide to leave. It's what is also holding me back from trying to study something else. If I could've been in my hometown, that would've made my life sm better honestly. I wouldn't have minded taking a gap as well.
Thank you if you made it this far. I'm really desperate for your guys' opinions on this idk what to do.