I don't know how to tiptoe around my mother anymore.
I'm coming here for some advice from other people with miso, I don't have it but my mother does. I recently had to move back in to her house and I'm about at my wits end trying to accommodate her triggers, which are many.
The usual stuff like repeated tapping, shaking, twitching, whistling, loud eating noises, squeaking (dog toys), are all no goes in the house, but the thing that bothers me the most is she hates the sound of the faucet running. I can not do any dishes while she is home, if the water is on for more than 5 or 10 seconds at a time she gets upset. I think the sound of the glass clinking triggers her as well. Low end she groans super loud and will go sit in another room, high end she starts screaming about water usage and how high the bill will be ( I do think she has some other OCD tendencies because this isn't the only strange thing she gets this distressed over). This has caused an almost constant issue with her making giant meals then never doing the dishes, leaving them on the counter and in the sink for weeks. When she goes out of town with my stepdad I will often try to reset the kitchen, but as a grown ass adult I really hate cleaning up after other grown ass adults.
To make matters worse, she hasn't slept in her bed with my stepdad in years because his snores trigger her. She works night shifts and sleeps on the couch, so until about 10 or 11 in the morning, I can't really do anything outside of my room. The floors in our house are very squeaky and they bother her a lot.
I do really love her, and everyone in this house does their best to accommodate, but I'm not properly functioning. I can't stand the mess and she cant take the criticism that its a mess in the first place. Is there a reasonable way I can approach the topic, or is there anything at all I might be able to do to put her more at ease? I have some sensory issues of my own so I empathize whole heartedly but something here needs to change.